The more articles that I have contributed to this blog; the more difficult it becomes to add another. It could be just a phase, I suppose. Now, Visible Origami is moving up on three hundred entries. That would make for ten books or more. It’s a lot of words. It’s true that no matter how much one has to say they could never cover the subject matter that this blog treats with. It’s also true that you can always find a new approach to say the same thing and that a new approach may well reveal something in a way that it can be understood better than it has been before. It’s also true that more words just add more confusion.
The radio doesn’t play the same song over and over. Television stations don’t play the same program over and over nor do movie theaters show the same film. The river is always the same river but you can’t step into the same river twice. Everything changes. We’re not the same person we were yesterday. So, I will go on writing. Hopefully there is good reason for this.
In my life I have been through many different situations. I’ve been in the same situation more than once and I have handled the same situation in different ways. I’ve handled things stupidly and without knowing that I was being ignorant. I’ve handled situations knowing that I was being stupid and willful ...and I’ve handled them well on occasion. I’ve been a chemistry set because, sometimes, certain chemicals have allowed me the propulsive fuel to break, even if for a little while, the suffocating darkness of these materialistic times. At other times my chemical experiments have only served to increase that darkness. These days my chemical experiments rely on two compounds and all of the rest have been eliminated from my practices. Those compounds are Ketamine and Ayahuasca. I can say with a great deal of confidence that these compounds prove to be remarkably efficacious in my efforts toward a better understanding of myself and the world in which I temporarily reside.
Under no circumstances do I recommend these things to anyone else. None of us are the same person, even if we do share the same underlying self. I find that I have shamanistic tendencies, tantric tendencies, personal propensities that are part and parcel of the person that I am. I am comfortable with my decision to engage in certain practices and I am confident that when my work is done with these compounds that there will be no new ones to replace them, unless some mysterious stranger places the universal medicine in my hands.
Each person’s journey is unique. I believe it is what we pursue that determines the good and bad in the things that we do. There is an old phrase; I cannot remember its origin. That phrase is, “He who loves much is forgiven much.” I’ve found that to be true.
In other times the world was not so much with us. It was possible to live outside of the turmoil of the world and to find a clarity and peace in our environment that made it possible to grow spiritually with a great deal less difficulty than what is present now. For myself, it has been necessary to employ certain agents that have eased my ability to obtain needed insights. I’ve tried just about everything and, by the grace of providence; have found what works for me.
Although there are a number of spiritual teachers who argue against the use of chemistry for revelation and spiritual gain, I seldom, if ever, have found that original scripture has much to say on the matter. One of my teachers once said, “Get wisdom any way that you can, steal it if you have to.” One might say that what I do is storming the gates of heaven. It’s also true that you can’t stay there if you haven’t earned the right to. The present state of the world finds a majority of the world engaged in daily chemistry experiments. In the main this involves alcohol, prescription drugs and a host of illegal comestibles.
I believe that I can safely say that the legal drugs of alcohol and prescription medicines are most certainly more harmful than the majority of illegal drugs. I think it can safely be argued that religious fundamentalism is also more dangerous than illegal drugs. It’s quite possible that materialism and the pursuit of money and personal gain at the expense of others is more harmful that the use of illegal drugs. It can certainly be argued that all of these are negatives for real spiritual growth. It’s a given that very, very few of us are free of all of these and that includes the majority of those who are called, or present themselves as, spiritual masters.
I have to look inside myself and see how it feels for me to be as I am. I can say that many times in the past I found that what I was doing went counter to what I was pursuing. I can say with confidence that that is not the case now. It is for each person to come to their own conclusions about what they do.
I find that materialism is so pervasive now that I am just not strong enough to carry on with confidence in my efforts without occasionally blowing the carbon out of my pipes. I approach what I do with reverence and ceremony and see it as no different than ingesting wafers and drinking wine that have been miraculously transubstantiated. In fact, I find that in my practices that transubstantiation has actually taken place. There’s a good book that came out some years ago called, “The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross” and it goes into some detail about this. Terrence McKenna and others have written extensively on the matter and I concur with most of what they say.
I don’t set myself up as a spiritual master. I am a mere student and a seeker after truth. I am intense about it. I would say that it occupies most of the moments of my every day. I am not comfortable going about the ordinary business of the day in pursuit of the ordinary goals of an ordinary life. I’ve no guilt or apprehension about what I do and that is what I go by. It is certainly different for all of you in one way or another.
I don’t use these chemicals recreationally although I have used some things that way in the past... still, most of the time I was trying to get inside myself, or outside myself, for the purpose of seeing more deeply. I really wanted to understand and was willing to risk whatever it cost to do so.
I don’t concern myself with breaking laws. If a law makes sense I obey it. If it doesn’t make sense or is hypocritical, I ignore it. Governments are quite often in this day and age more dishonest than its citizens. Governments in these days are the main traffickers of those things they have made illegal. I don’t recognize these governments. I recognize another government. I don’t accept conventional wisdom. I don’t accept the advice of experts who don’t know what they are talking about and medical authorities who injure those they are entrusted to heal.
I’ve no idea why I wrote what you read here today. I don’t think I’ve written about this here before and that may be the main reason I did so. It’s different. It may be less useful than anything I’ve ever written here before.
We’re on our way somewhere. We’re either headed there without any real idea of why or we are headed there intentionally. It’s not the same place in many cases in respect of the moment but... in the long run it is the same place regardless. We’ll arrive there stripped of everything except what we are. In the end it won’t matter how we got there. It may take longer and it may be quick... for the determined and energetic. Good fortune to you all however you proceed.
'Miracle of Love' is track no. 11 of 13 on Visible's 2007 album 'The Sacred and The Profane'
Lyrics (pops up)