Friday, April 27, 2018

There's Nothing here that Matters. It Matters not at All...

Dog Poet Transmitting.......

Two nights ago, I went to bed and never slept at all because the ineffable paid me a visit and didn't leave until the dawn's early light. It seems that a certain segment of humanity is engaged in seeking to communicate with the ineffable. Some of them come from religious traditions and then there are people from all walks of life. The ineffable said that I had passed a certain gate that now permitted me to have a deeper relationship with the divine and the process that expedites the... process? There is a general evolution that takes place over the course of any number of lifetimes. Kind of like if one is pushed along a route. This is an internal route where levels of awakening take place. There is some amount of interplay between the creator and the created. The speed of the process is dependent on the passion of the supplicant. There is a general push but it is a slow road. Something like a pinball that bounces off of the bumpers ...but unlike a pinball machine there is no quick downward ball through the chute. It's a level plane. The predictable events of human existence keep bouncing off of the bumpers. Eventually one comes into a conscious partnership with the objective.

So I was taken into a space and told that all that was required of me was that however I approached the objective, I had to walk the walk and talk the talk; walk the talk. My spontaneous reaction was, “well then Lord, I want to walk with you and talk with you.” Suddenly it was as if some alarm then went off because I had said the magic word. Some amount of “so be it” followed after. In this space critical archetypes interplay. The first one I saw was Memory. It had a direct connection to the ineffable. Reason came, it had a connection through Memory. There was another which has escaped me and then the integrating sex factor appeared and it connected directly and was merely a matter of how it is viewed and where directed.

Everyone else that was in the space was at some measurable level and everyone had a connection to everyone, without knowing who they were, the level they were at and whether they were corporal or not. Questions would be asked. When they were answered, one was advanced or set back. The scenery was an internalized awareness of the archetypes and other participants. Not everyone was there for the same reasons and the intensities differed. It was startlingly real. There is a point in anyone's existence, should they be so disposed, where the pursuit of the ineffable, can become the centerpiece of one's existence.

It was not what I expected. One might have expected time to play a role but there was no real sense of time as an autonomous entity, or as any form of integrated measurement.

I got the sense that we are ALL in this space, at all times some knowing and some not knowing. Some in kinetic association and some at potential. One got a real sense of levels and nothing operated in a traditional manner. It was very absorbing, as well as emotionally involving. I found myself saying, “I love you, Lord” over and over. It seems that there is a place where all of the usual dream schemes of day to day interplay are put aside and the choreography of eternal dance comes into play. One advances due to awareness. Each new level of awareness manifests a counterparting environment and when one is fully engaged in the mirror reflecting interaction, it is a simple matter of the relevant dots, connecting through a sympathetic vibrating resonance. In many way it is a lot like math and higher math lets you shoot around corners. The Limbic System is much involved and we have the Sella Turcica. There's a yellow golden pyramid that can light up the joint. Brother Ajna has that covered. Certain comestibles can activate and open yon splendor.

This is my life. I could have been smarter. I could have taken a less dangerous path but here we are and one gets bonus points for 'degree of difficulty'. Factor that in with Mr. Apocalypse and the fact that a large percentage of the population has their comestibles (figurative and literal) of choice. I consecrate all of my ingestions with the timeless rituals of doing it all in the name, honor and service of the ineffable. Why you are doing anything is of critical importance and why I say that the hellfire the sinner burns in, the saint bathes in- 'bathed in the light'. I am climbing Jacob's ladder. Nor should we forget that Joshua fit the battle of Jericho.

So... I'm in there now; probably was there all along ...but one of those not activated for the to and fro but now, steady as she goes. The important thing to me and possibly to you as well, is that God is more involved with us than we know. God assuredly loves us more than we reciprocate and went looking for us before we started looking. Think of God as something like Amazon's Alexa, only conscious, much more conscious than we are. We are being lifted up into the light but we struggle. We attempt to crawl back into our cell, under the floorboards of darkness. There is a film called “Jacob's Ladder”, which deals with this construct in an interesting way. “Be not deceived, even the devil is turned into an angel of light at the given moment”.

The deceptions and exposures are intensified in Kali Yuga where the bills are paid. What many people do not realize about Karma is that you can meet it before it arrives, you can dispose of it through credit, which involves you in performing good works, or through grace and divine intervention, which is available to some. There are also austerities and sacrifice which is especially good currency in the Piscean Age, though we are moving into Aquarius now and brotherhood is the emblematic icon. Certainly sisterhood is operational as well. I don't know about things like the patriarchy and white disenfranchisement as well a genocide. I don't operate in those zones and never have. I have no sense of white privilege, white guilt. I'm aware of the justifications for much of it. There are predilections embraced by some that certainly speak to levels of injustice. Karma complicates this because you can be a white corporatist in one life and a black woman in another. You can be a pimp in one life and a ho in another. As a song in the Mikado says; “let the punishment fit the crime”.

In this world, there is a lot of blame being attached where it doesn't apply and where sometimes it does. The worst among us are being elevated and suggested for president. The talentless absurdities being foisted on us makes one want to vomit. They're making stars out of individuals who are an offense against the human race. It is truly insane. We must keep to the way and let The Way develop a path for us, because myriad destinies are all being worked out in different locations with very diverse results.

The whole point is to dehumanize us, to glorify the Satanic and diminish the divine. There will never be a time when evil can overthrow the natural order and when the appearance of such does manifest, it is only for the purpose of demonstration. Everything is an advertisement for awareness. If one sees truly what is taking place, then simply the awareness of it, as it is is, an antidote and a protection against that. We are free to choose the paths we walk and free also to experience the value or lack thereof.

I'll close with the lyrics to one of my songs-

“It Always Breaks Your Heart”

"There's nothing here that matters
It matters not at all
We sail on the Titanic
Or we never get the call"

"To live with more than you can spend
Or barely buy a meal
It's just life and life goes on
And it always will"

"Somewhere there is laughter
And somewhere there are screams
And somewhere both together
Like sunlight through the rain"

"And then you get a rainbow
A promise so they say
And even if it does come true
One day it goes away"

"And this is all a movie
This is all a dream
Except that you believe it's true
What you are watching on the screen"

"You get caught up in the film
And then you play your part
It may be good it may be bad
But it always breaks your heart"

"There's nothing here that matters
It matters not at all
One day you're young
One day you're old
One day your not at all"

"A lot of noise and flashing lights
A lot of wish there were
Something else somewhere else
But it never occurs"

"When you were a child
It was the only time you knew
And now your life is over
With so much to still live through"

"And this is all a movie
This is all a dream
Except that you believe it's true
What you are seeing on the screen"

"You get caught up in the film
And then you play your part
It may be good it may be bad
But it always breaks your heart"

"Now... the whole thing was designed this way
To make you disappear
'cause only when you are truly gone
Can what is real appear"

"Yeah there's nothing here that matters
It matters not at all
Just take the whole thing lightly
And be prepared to fall"

"Be ready for the rushing wind
Be caught by angels hands
Just believe it to be true
'cause no one understands"

"Oh... this is all a movie
This is just a dream
Except that you, you think it's real
What you're watching on the screen"

"You get caught up in the film
And then you play your part
It may be good and it may be bad
But it always, always, always, breaks your heart"

The fourth night now passed and no sleep, a catnap here and there through the days, with no fatigue but that ongoing fugue state of trance. This morning, having finally drifted off for a short while, I saw this man in a suit, wearing glasses with a big, downward looking but secretive smile. I was inordinately attracted to him and a sense of kinship was very strong. I sat up wondering about this and then, spontaneously, out of nowhere, I turned around inside myself and asked, “Lord... was that you?” I heard laughter and he said, “Wow! How did you get that”? (as if he didn't know- grin). This filled me with such a sense of wonder and sanctuary. It's little things like this that make my day.

I love you, Lord.

End Transmission.......

There's nothing here that matters.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Twisted Like Human Origami in Search of a Finer and Enduring Template.

Dog Poet- incomprehensibly still- Transmitting.......

(skipping Petri Dish for the more appropriate Origami)

I thought I had been through Hell before and, no doubt I have. Hell, however, is a place defined by degrees. At extremes of itself, it would be unrecognizable by comparison with the examples. This I have recently experienced and it has covered the days between Friday last week and Saturday today.

As some of you may remember, I had a kidney stone a few years ago. The one I had was six millimeters and the doctors said I could not pass it; I would need surgery. I had gone to see the doctor at a clinic where others were recovering from such surgery and I saw them walking around with those IV apparatuses. They each had a bag containing some amount of bloody fluid. It is apparently an iffy operation. I told myself, “I can't do this.” and mused that there must be a way otherwise. So... I spent the next 3 days, jumping up and down, drinking massive amounts of Pepsi Cola and eating jars of asparagus, like the kind you see preserved in some sort of liquid on grocery store shelves. I passed the stone. Occasionally afterwards, I would feel another but it seems that the large one I passed made further passage much easier. Somewhat paranoid about the pain of another experience; there are no words really to describe the intensity of it, I have been, for some while taking a host of Ayur-Vedic powders and capsules to dissolve any remainder and- on the Thursday previous, I drank an entire small bottle of a kidney stone tincture, possibly generating what happened to me.

I had been having, off and on over recent years, serious bouts of pain from my gall bladder. I had seen the pictures of the two large stones resident there that would not possibly pass. These attacks would last half an hour or so but... I always had the necessary pain medication to offset the experience. A doctor had told me I would need to have it removed because it could kill me. There were times recently that I begged for that to happen but it did not. On Monday I had it removed. I could have just had the stones removed but they could have reappeared.

The attack first started on the Friday 9 days ago. I went in and they gave me seriously insufficient medication. I was back on Saturday in dreadful pain. The people I encountered were sociopaths, indifferent and cruel individuals, unlike any in my previous encounters with the Satanic allopathic community. Hard as it may be to believe, they were mocking me and laughing at me and threatening to call the police if I did not shut up and telling me I could always go to another hospital. Although I had friends with me, there were some number of Garden of Gethsemane moments. It really was a protracted and excruciating series of “abandon hope all ye who enter here.” I will not dwell on the anger... the death of faith... what I consider my cowardice in the face of the challenge. There's no way to put into words what passed by for me in this time.

Of course, since I came in on Saturday night I had to wait until Monday afternoon for the surgery. Because of the war on Oxycontin, caused by a collective of despair... poverty and materialism, one must jump through incredible hoops to get access to this medicine, even if one is not an offender of it. I did not ever receive adequate amounts; having been in the hospital before and the memory of it very clear. They tossed me out the next day- Tuesday, with holes in my stomach from the laparoscopic operation and gave me the smallest amount of pain killers I ever remember getting. They gave me only 18 and that was gone in two days. All the superhuman efforts of my friends was to no avail and even when I did get another prescription the pharmacies said the previous one was meant to last until today. Finally today I got 20 more and immediately took four and all is well as it should have been but I am in America, where only the rich and influential can get whatever they want, whenever they want it, or the dealers and the like. Ordinary people, which I don't think I qualify as (grin) but in this case resemble, are screwed.

I'm living in the United States, probably better off in certain ways than I have ever been; in pleasant surroundings and with truly fine associates. I may not have much in the way of material goods but the character of my life has rewarded me with more sincere and faithful friends than most and I have more tools of my trade than ever before. It looks like a creative storm, the like of which I have never yet experienced, is on the horizon and I have been setting that up for some time. Perhaps what I went through has deepened my capacities as nothing else could have done. Pain certainly sharpens and concentrates the mind. I am disappointed in myself for not handling it all better. I was seriously angry with God, who seemed to be laughing at me as well, though we have sorted that since. Apparently when you are important to God you become equally important to the adversary. I don't know how true that is in my case but it's something to grab on to.

I've been told that removing the gall bladder can have a negative affect on what one can eat and how one tastes their food. I haven't noticed that. I don't live to eat in any case, even though cooking is one of my true passions and the love of it has assuredly honed my skills, especially of late. I'm rather surprised at that.

I really wanted to live in India. Unfortunately, as is often the case, I chose the wrong part of it to live in during my visit. I still don't know what happened to me there. I suspect Varanasi would have been a better fit. India is cheap, so that a poor man can live like a prince. It has competent medical practitioners, with the oldest and finest tradition known. Medications of any kind can be had without difficulty. It is a spiritual place. The food is off the charts! The people are splendid when they have been raised and educated properly. I count among my finest friends those with that lineage; Roy, Sukh and the wonderful Raquib. They are all wonderful for that matter, exceptional beings that are a rare find in the West.

Never before have I felt the awareness of the suffering that so many endure. Flashes of examples were moving through my mind all along the way. I hurt so bad it was unendurable and I have had a good portion of that by comparison with the majority. Added to this onslaught was the spiritual pain; the mocking and indifference, the cold, callous, Bolshevik-like psychopathy. Meanwhile, I know more about medicine and healing than the average allopathic practitioner. I should probably be more humble about this but I have ample evidence of it and many enduring witnesses; “physician heal thyself!” Slow down... visible.

On a positive note, I am brimming over with a confidence and a deeper sense of wider awareness that just wasn't there before. I feel capable of more than I ever have, should I get the opportunity to employ it. Still I am saddened by my weakness and the clear vision of my limitations and shortcomings. That hurts too. That really hurts. It doesn't take much for me to feel like I am a piece of shit, given that I was raised with those words and worse through the first 17 years of my life. It's something I am going to have to get over and certainly accounts for the various episodes of bad behavior on my part, now and again. I don't see much of that anymore ...but the memory lingers. I can tell myself I'm better than the herd, that I do care deeply and am earnest in my striving but that's not enough. There are those whose company I am not worthy to enter into and wish with all my heart that I were more like them. It is a hard tread up an ugly and treacherous mountain, with more waiting beyond.

I thought I had real courage and faith. When one can walk into the dark wilderness at night alone and take large amounts of LSD, maybe one can get a false impression, which is shattered at times like this.

Earlier on, I thought the world was going to change. Now I know the world does not change. We change and so our view and understanding of the world changes. I can't shake the idea that a mini golden age is going to come. It will come in the hearts of the few at first and in strategic locations. The force of it will penetrate all of the terminal resistance and ignorance that is a hallmark of times of material darkness. It seems so. I feel it for reasons I don't understand but it's strong and has been.

As the reader knows, I devour books, sometimes reading one a day. Recently I have discovered Louis L'Amour. I knew about him but had never read him. He's written more than 40 books, principally westerns and I've been reading them because I am keen to write a western containing my own Dostoevsky like examples of the mystical war within and the Les Miserables like conditions that can come, as well as some of the illustrative pictorial imagery of Hesse, Borges and others. Cormac McCarthy is a contemporary master I admire as well. In any case, I am nearly through with a book by L'Amour entitled “The Walking Drum” (certainly read at least the first couple of comments by other readers). It is not a western but takes place in Europe and Asia of the 13th century.

NEVER have I read a novel with such encyclopedic awareness of the history of the last couple of millennia. I have a passing knowledge of people and places mentioned and this book... this book teaches you, presents you with a compilation of references and explanations, character studies... words fail. I haven't enjoyed a book this much in I don't know when. It has been a joy and an education for me and I cannot imagine being so well informed and writing so well. It feels beyond my capacity in this life. Here I thought he was just a cowboy novelist and he is but man... it's like you are right there. You never know what you are going to find, if you take the trouble to look.

I apologize for putting this poor scenario before the reader. Hopefully there is something of value to be had for someone. It's been a shock to the system. I have no idea who I am. I am emptying my mind, hoping some merciful god or servant of the ineffable may fill it with the proper things. I would hate to feel like I have wasted my life until now but I can say with certitude and conviction that whatever time remains to me I will value and employ to the best of my limited abilities. Much love to you, one and all.

In closing, one piece of advice that has come clearly to me is that I think it fortuitous for the seeker, unless he is a madman like me, to embrace a tradition; Sufism, mystical Christianity or something that provides a structure and give a comforting system; proven in the lives of great examples, rather than (like I) pursuing an unknown God of no discernible provenance, moving from one perspective to another and both the deity and yourself remaining unknown as God is unknowable and incomprehensible. I don't know why I have added this. It keeps coming to mind of late.

End Transmission.......