Tuesday, August 09, 2005

If I have to walk I'm gonna get there just the same.

And a good morning to you; I haven’t felt much like writing anything here lately. The last few times I sat down to do it because it felt like I was supposed to be doing it. I’m not sure why that is. I have been involved in my music more lately. I’m also in the middle of the storm center of a particular astrological circumstance and it is having a noticeable effect. I don’t know how relevant this is to anyone but I say it by way of explanation if you do not hear from me for periods of time. I was seriously considering moving on. I’ve done this for a year now and pretty much covered a lot of ground. The ground I haven’t covered doesn’t get discussed in this medium, or else it’s what I haven’t yet experienced or assimilated. Time for another paragraph I suppose-

...in this essay, not in my life (grin).

Well, at the same time there’s no point in saying I’m not going to do anything anymore. How would I know? So let’s just say that I come and I go and I’m not sure how that gets scheduled. For the moment I’m here.

One of the things I notice is the way people drive their cars. It’s probably a good idea for all of us to give this as much as attention as we can during the times we are on that particular field of play; whether that is in a vehicle or on foot in the general area. In the town where I am residing there are a lot of bicycles and pedestrians and what-not. Even in the center of town it always surprises me to see cars angling to pull around anything that isn't going fast enough to suit them. Once they get outside of the small shopping district about 50% of them floor it and get up into speeds that would have them in traffic court, were this America.

There aren’t many police here. You seldom see police. In America they are everywhere; which doesn’t mean there’s less crime or anything. America remains the most dangerous part of the world I have ever spent any time in. In Europe people are given a lot of leeway in terms of judgment. This doesn’t mean there aren’t speed limits and pricey tickets. It’s just that there’s a lot less oversight and scrutiny. In any case, people behave better in Europe than they do in the U.K. or the U.S. The U.K. isn’t really part of Europe the way I see it. That’s a very violent place, just like America. Both of them have extreme police presence. I’ve speculated that it is because both of these locations are criminal empires and the philosophy and perspective trickles down into the mainstream public.

But this isn’t about whether there’s more crime in one place than another. This is about the general impatience and ‘me first’ attitude that prevails world wide. I believe there are howling spirits that inhabit the highway systems. They are slipstreams of urgency. The majority of humanity is powered out of their subconscious. They’re driven by urges and appetites and fears. Most of them are insane but it is a controlled insanity more or less. Compulsions are a controlled insanity, obsessions can be too. There’s always edginess about the various drives that people, more or less, have under control.

When people get into cars something seems to take over. There’s an imperative to get nowhere fast. I see these same people wandering down the sidewalks, taking their stomachs on a sightseeing trip, looking for something, the ‘what’ of ‘which’ is never really found. Everything else stands in for the thing they can’t find. Time is made up of all the interactions between people and objects in place of what they are really after. Quite often people look lost to me. They don’t seem to know where they are going or what they want. If they had to, or chose to, stop and think about that for a moment I believe it would frighten them and immediately propel them back into the restless pursuit of nothing.

I watch people. It is something I do. Instead of shopping, I watch people shop. Instead of drinking and talking ‘at’ someone, I watch people doing this. I happen to know that the sole object of all life’s actions is to discover God. There is no event in your life that is not in some way connected to this. You don’t have to call it God. You could call it; ‘the answer’ or Truth, or the Philosopher's Stone or Peace of Mind. They’re all included in it and so is everything else you can name as a substitute for terms that might offend your seemingly personal independence of thought and action.

Because I know that the sole purpose of life is a reunification of the self with The Self, it makes people watching a different thing for me than it might for some. People look to me like someone who dropped something but can’t remember where they dropped it, so they are always looking about them to see if it might be there. People look to me like they forgot something, they know it’s important but they can’t seem to remember what it was. Occasionally you will see them do that ‘Eureka!’ thing and set off to get a pound of butter, a husband or a wife, or a notebook or a gun. It’s all temporary though because that’s not it; whatever ‘that’ is.

People look to me like they don’t know what they’re doing here but that they need to act like they’re supposed to be or the other chickens will peck them to death. People look hungry and frightened and ridiculous sometimes when they are posing as something that they got the idea was legitimate or lasting or substantial. People often look angry and disappointed. Sometimes they look Pollyanna cheerful and just cute as a button and more than ready to go out and save some souls and testify about all the good things God did in the life they haven’t lived yet.

I’ve heard that Alcoholics Anonymous has been getting quite a few people who don’t really drink coming in. It shows up when they tell their stories because they don’t have a story. Most people aren’t going to risk anything and if they do it will be in a particular age period, after that, it’s all on rails. I see that when I watch older people. We’ve got a lot of older people where I live. Watching older people is a real learning experience. What I find fascinating is that no one thinks they are going to turn into older people. Older people’s faces tell you a great deal.

I’m not one of those people who think babies are cute and special. They turn into everyone you see around you. I don’t think about how I have a mother and a father in the usual sense. My family is just everybody else, even though I do have a family the way others do; I don’t really and my life is proof of that. Sometimes it is hard for me to distinguish anyone from anyone. Good and bad have a very different meaning for me. I learn this from watching people. I have found it is wisest for me to rarely speak about the things I think about. The best thing for me has been just to slip on by.

I’m going to go out and get in my car now and drive over to the thermal baths and spend the day in the saunas and pools and dream about vanished civilizations where I have no doubt I would have been more comfortable. I’m not going to turn into Minniver Cheevy though for all of that. I’ll see what I usually see on my way there. I’ll see people driving faster than they have to on their way to nowhere. I’ll see people looking like they dropped something but I’ll know better than to ask if I can help.

I’ll see people expecting things but they won’t have a bill of lading in their hand. I’ll see people in all manner of poses that are a reaction to the fundamental point of the life they are involved in that they have some idea might be some other thing. Occasionally I will catch a glimmer of the thing itself that exists at a right angle to everything else. It’ll flash and then disappear. I saw it this morning as I was about to meditate in the garden. It was glistening like a tiny diamond on the end of a leaf. It was some form of caged sunlight. I looked at it and wondered. I expect if I go back outside now that I won’t find that particular evidence of the secret of life. I know I couldn’t begin to explain what I mean when I call it that.

Some secrets are safe. You find that it is impossible to reveal them. People drive past them and walk past them in huge numbers every day and never see a thing.

Visible sings: Almost A Capella by Les Visible♫ I'm in my Car ♫
'I'm in my Car' is track no. 2 of 12 on Visible's 2007 album 'Almost A Capella'

Almost A Capella by Les Visible

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think I caught a glimmer of something similar a couple mornings ago. It was in the hallway before the sun came up, an odd looking star of light appeared, about the size of a basketball and then got brighter and bigger - lighting up the whole hallway...then I moved towards it and it was gone.

Your new songs are great; and yes, I would have to say "Spread Your Wings" was my favorite, but I liked them all. I can't believe you did all five in one day. That has to be fairly uncommon. Very nice.

ben

vyoma said...

les i'm glad you told me never to stop looking. one comes to a stage in life where the clutter refuses to leave and threatens to take over. it is then that i remember, and try not to let myself forget, and keep looking. i won't ever rest. i'll be restless in a totally different sense.

Anonymous said...

Les,

If you need a break from writing you must obey what your brain and body tell you. It is the only honest, substantive, yardstick you have. Your readers will miss you.

“It was glistening like a tiny diamond on the end of a leaf. It was some form of caged sunlight.”

I had a strange “at one with nature” experience when I saw an enormous newly made spider’s web that had been made between a high post and a connecting line. A winter frost had fallen on it and the sun shone brilliantly and turned it into a chandalier. I have a photo which is a good pictorial reproduction, but the magical moment has been lost.

Love,
Celeste

Anonymous said...

That's a sweet piece of work. I listened to your new songs and I'm blown away. Those are some beautiful tapestries my friend. Anyway, reading this, I came to the last paragraph or so and the captured sunlight and the rest and I heard, "I can see you sparkle, for a moment I was there." from the tune "Prevail" playing in my head as I read.

This was a great way to start my day.

z a

Anonymous said...

Usually I email you but I want to say something here this time. I'm always amazed at the casual elegance that embroiders itself through your work. It is especially noticeable in this offering. You see things that other people miss and then you point them out in a new way. I believe this is what makes your work so interesting and entertaining.

I too have been listening to your new songs and I want to say that with these most recent additions you have arrived at a whole new level of ability, especially in regard to production. I can't identify all of what has changed. It seems like everything and nothing. There is a noticeable difference. I want to thank you for all that you do. My day would be the poorer without being able to come by here and find something new by you. I could understand your going away if you didn't have an audience but you do.

Then it occurs to me that you can't help doing something. It's in your nature, so that makes me smile and understand that you just say what you feel like you have to say and that some of it is rhetorical and some of it hasn't got anything to do with anyone but yourself. You're just thinking out loud and maybe that helps you think more clearly afterwards.

Robert Crowley

Anonymous said...

Les,

I love your music, too. You have a beautiful baritone voice. If you feel so inclined, breath control exercises will show you how to extend your vocal range. How you inhale governs how you exhale.

When I was suffering from pneumonia I discovered that I have a huge lung capacity as I was being monitored whilst ill and on recovery.

In order to sing as well as you, one has to fill the base of the lungs. As we age, we become lazy and only breathe from the top half (the chest and shoulders expand) as we go about our business. One should inhale and feel the stomach move horizontally. The chest and shoulders must not move at all.

Love,
Celeste

Anonymous said...

I keep coming back to read that line about the light trembling on the end of the leaf. There's something about that line that haunts me. It's like a dream I had or a memory that won't come up.

Not to be mean but I think that lady needs to exhale.

Erin

IIIIbarcodeIIII said...

"...dream about vanished civilizations where I have no doubt I would have been more comfortable."

Here in the past or elsewhere in the universe, I agree.

Les Visible said...

Grreetings Barcode

I really enjoyed your previous commentary and hoped you'd come around again. I rarely reply in the threads because of certain pathologies that have a tendency to occur.

I want to take the opportunity to say that I do respond to emails whenever that happens.

Thanks for coming by and being inventive. As for this most recent comment I think I can say that as I read it I knew just what you meant in your own terms for they are the same as mine.

Anonymous said...

Erin,

Thanks for reminding me.

E x h a l i n g ...r e a l l y... s l o w l y ...

That's better.

Celeste

Les Visible said...

My friends, some intrepid soul is trying to use the comments section for a billboard. I suspect it is not a random effort but rather something concealing another agenda.

You may see these pop up for however long this fellow wants to go at it. I've removed 3 already. The idea I think is to annoy me but that's unlikely. I have no problem just deleting them when I see them. It could go on forever and it would just be like clipping my toenails which I have to do anyway.

So I will just remove them when I see them and go about my business. I say this because I know some of you may become upset by it. Don't be. I have means at my disposal to deal with this situation should I choose to but it's just not that important. On the plus side it's an increase in traffic and also a wonderful opportunity to show a careless disregard.

Once I was very angry at the tests that I was put through. Now I know they're for not just my edification but often my entertainment as well.

Cave Dei Videt