Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Need to Burn the Carbon off the Pipes

I was lying in bed this morning when I heard an insistent tapping. I wasn’t inclined to get up just yet since I had been having another one of ‘those dreams’ which now I can’t remember. The tapping went on. I had put the dogs out a little after dawn and gone back to bed. I wondered if it was one of them although they’ve never shown that kind of initiative before. I got up and went into the kitchen because I saw nothing at the front door and there I saw a small bird with a yellow belly and gray black wings perched on a thin ledge at the bottom of the long window which comprises most of the door.

The bird was steadily tapping at the glass. I walked right up to the door and the bird kept tapping. I stood there for about ten seconds and then the bird flew away. It didn’t occur to me how strange it was that the bird did not fly away when I came up on it. I wasn’t really in my normal (grin) consciousness yet.

It seemed like the bird had been sent to tell me to get out of bed. The thing is that the night before I had told myself I was going to get up early because I had a lot errands to run in a certain time frame and a particular chore to accomplish before I left, including my morning cups of tea with the companionable American Spirit in attendance. I would probably have been pressed for time if I had not gotten up then. I had gone to bed pretty late the night before and then there’s always that hour when I lay awake doing the things I do on my way to the astral plane.

I don’t know if that bird was sent to wake me up but it certainly dovetailed with my plans and was right on the mark time wise. It was also out of character for the bird (I think) to be tapping at my window... and the fact that it didn’t fly away when I came up on it but just kept tapping for a few seconds... I don’t know.

I have a fascination with the Devic Realm and that is one of the reasons that I engage Lord Ganapati/Ganesh; the other is for the removal of obstacles to self-realization which is one of his particular forms of service to those who seek him out. It’s also said by those who are familiar with the tradition that he is the closest to us in terms of distance and approachability. This is important to me because we are in the Kali Yuga and a time of intense materialism. Spirituality is not as easy in these times as in others and that brings me to something I’ve wanted to talk about.

Before I embark on another travelogue, I need to proffer a disclaimer and to say that what I do with my life is my own business. People may have their opinions about how certain behavior might apply to them but, I am not them and they are not me. I do not encourage others to engage in the sort of things I do in this particular area. I should also say that such behavior on my part is rare. Well, it’s rare in comparison to what it used to be (grin).

It’s also a lot more selective and refined than it was. Still, it’s not my day to day thing and some portions of those practices I do recommend in a general way but not this one.

What I am talking about, if you haven’t already guessed, is the use of psychotropic substances. The only reason I am talking about them today is to clarify why someone would engage in this pursuit to begin with and I’ve got a very good reason for that.

Originally the timing of my life put me into a cultural period where this sort of thing was common. You have to add into this the extreme thirst that I had for the unseen worlds which impact upon the one we tend to think of as the real world, although it is no more real than the others and much less real than some.

Early on in my career I had an intense curiosity about the occult and Hermetic sciences. I even owned a book store which sold the texts and also allowed me to read them as well. It was called The Ajna Bookstore and it was in Woodstock, New York. I had this bookstore for several years and it was at this time that I joined The Builders of the Adytum and began to take their courses which went on for a couple of decades at least. When I met Guru Bawa he took these interests away from me ‘in a certain way’ but I have continued to glean knowledge from that area although it’s pretty much intuitive at this point.

Guru Bawa said that engaging in the use of these substances was a bad idea. Pretty much all teachers and traditions say this with the exception of Left Hand Tantra and the Shamanistic traditions. One could say that I was in and out of the former over the years and that it had a lot to do with the early Kali and Smashin Tara worship. You’ve got to be a particular, strange kind of a person to want to go into these areas and you have got to have some kind of previous Karmic associations and protections to go there as well. Anyone who has seen her as she is known to appear and who is not adapted or prepared for it would go mad and there’s no ifs ands or buts about it.

I used to take large amounts of psychedelics and go into graveyards at night for the opportunity. People who are not familiar with the Hindu traditions would look at this as an indication of insanity. I would insert here that one is unlikely to find the source without going mad in any case but that’s by the by. My path has been an uncommon one and there are people who did go mad trying to tag along, although- thankfully- they did recover. In the Hindu tradition neither hand of the Tantric paths is evil in and of itself. It is the intention of the practitioner who makes it so as is the case with anything. I was never looking for magical powers or material gain, only contact and revelation.

My reasons for engaging in psychotropic accessories in relation to my search can be understood by analogy perhaps. When you are trying to get your car out of a swamp it’s a good thing to have a motorized winch. If you are trying to fly it’s a good thing to have something that offsets gravity. If you are engaged in anything where there is a large degree of resistance then extra power can’t hurt.

We live in very materialistic times and that means that there is a blanket of heavy darkness over one’s mind and emotions. If your focus is on material things then you probably don’t notice the oppressive weight of their presence in the environment. You might notice that you get weary on the way. You might notice the difficulties of moving through compressed space and you might notice that the more conveniences that appear and the more time saving devices that are around that the faster time goes by. But probably you don’t notice these things and probably you don’t associate them with materialism.

Materialism clogs a person’s pipes. It dims the sight and it fragments the will. It does all kinds of things. Most people are completely reliant on this and desire it too. They like that cushioning thing that civilization brings to their soft forms. Some of us don’t and the time when you really notice the force of materialism is when you try to get out of it. The effort needed to escape is pretty extreme as well as constant.

So you might say that I’m weak, or in a hurry. You might say that I’m insane and inconsistent and I won’t argue with any of that. It doesn’t change anything anyway. But every now and then I need to burn the carbon off of my pipes and I need a reminder of what it is I’m looking for. Of course, I can’t stay there and I know this. I just want to check in; touch base, re-inspire myself to a greater effort for when I’m back in la vie ordinaire. You may not even consider such a thing and that’s fine. I happen to know that there are more ways up this mountain than you can imagine. It’s not the way you pick that matters. All that matters is whether you are determined enough and have no inclination to stop or turn back... no matter what.

I’ve been moving around in these mysterious landscapes for years and I share a kinship with Terrence McKenna and a number of other people and we’re somewhat unique in our ability to navigate this territory, just as you may be at something I have no ability for whatsoever. No matter what the general rule may be there are always special cases and you either find out or you die trying. Some routes are safer but they’re longer; just like shortcuts in relation to the other highways. It’s not that I believe in shortcuts or even that I think I’m taking one. It’s just how it sorted out for me.

The key to anything is one’s sincerity of purpose. God knows what I’m up to and I think he/she’s even glad that I would go through the trouble and risk certain consequences just to talk to him/her. That’s what it comes down to. I just find all of this... this monument to crap and bad taste to be a little too much to bear and this is how I make it bearable for me. I take little spiritual vacations to check in on where I’m bound. It eases the pain of being here. I make no excuses and offer no apologies and I strongly recommend that everyone find a less dramatic course but this is just how it is for me... by way of answering questions that I sometimes get and... responding to critics who have zero experience of anything I’m talking about here but who, for reasons unfathomable to me... know all about it.

Anyway... probably not what you were expecting but I will make sure to put something else up here real soon so you don’t feel like I left you wanting.

You’re not going to believe this. Just as I finished this there came another bird at the window. I heard the tapping and went into the kitchen but it was gone. I saw it flying away. Then another bird appeared while I was standing there and tapped twice (just like the one who departed) and then this bird also left. I noticed it had a black stripe down the middle of its yellow belly. What was strange before has now become uncanny. There’s probably some rational explanation for this but... you can imagine my state of wonderment at the moment.

Visible sings: Songwriter by Les Visible♫ Everlasting Love ♫
'Everlasting Love' is track no. 2 of 10 on Visible's 2006 album 'Songwriter'
Lyrics (pops up)

Songwriter by Les Visible


psychegram said...

Every substance has its purpose and we're all drawn to whatever medicine is the least destructive. Lately for me it's been good old marijuana which (in stark contrast to alchohol) I've found to be immensely useful in turning up the dial on the intensity of my meditation sessions ... whereas with alcohol, even a single beer and that's it, concentration is shot and nothing at all seems to flow.

I used to dabble in a lot more ... ecstasy was vital spiritual therapy, both for purposes of reconnecting with my body and learning to reconnect socially with other humans, as a human ... the music of course is a vital aspect of that therapy. Best used sparingly, though. Mushrooms too but ... well ... my brain was so deeply entrained by rationalist philosophy that contact with psilocybin just left me thinking I was going permanently insane and, thus, the experiences left me terrified. I think I could handle it better now, and no doubt I'll find out some day.

In the meantime, just one final thought. Like you say, it's the kali yuga, and time is of the essence. Sure it's safer and in the long run more effective to climb this mountain the slow and steady way but we don't have time to spend thirty years in an ashram, or at least that's how it feels, and so at this point it's hell for leather, free-climbing without a harness, and if we fall, well ... at least the effort will count for something, the next go round.

(not that I'm saying drugs are the only way. They're a relatively minor part of my own developing system, but, Whatever Works has to be the guiding philosophy.)

Zoner said...

Anyone who has used substances in the proper manner knows exactly what you are talking about, and those who have not simply should reserve judgement. But that probably won't keep a few fingers from being waved at you for sure over these accounts.

Materialism and all its consequences are certainly front and center for all to see. Some of us are being forced to deal with letting go of our "stuff" and are more or less O.K. with it, while others kick and scream all the way. Whatever the motivation, travelling light seems to be indicated!

I'm with the psychegram school of thought here. It seems a little late in the game to enter into prolonged, casual study. I hear a sound, too, but it's not birds knocking. Some foot-tall woodpeckers dropped in the other day, but they made a different sound.

Sounds a bit like a school bell, or maybe a fire alarm.

My pipes are clogged nearly beyond repair it seems, and I'd love nothing more than a vacation. But there is work to do first.

Thanks for sharing this, and enjoy your travels!


Jody Paulson said...

While you're waiting to access chemical doorways to perception, you might want to explore different pathways to altered states of consciousness, like sound.

Anonymous said...

This is not meant to be critical or preachy. Simply an offering from a God conscious Archarya.
Srila Prabhupada himself stated honestly and frankly that even 95% of his own initiated devotees really wanted to achieve not God consciousness, but sattva guna (pious acts) which results in birth into the higher planetary systems with the resulting increased sense enjoyment this entails.

Bill Faill: How about drugs? Can they help in the process of God realization?

Srila Prabhupada: If drugs could help God realization, then drugs would be more powerful than God. How can we accept that? Drugs are chemical substances, which are material. How can something material help one realize God, who is all-spiritual? It is impossible. What one experiences from taking drugs is simply a kind of intoxication or hallucination; it is not God realization.


Visible said...

Just by way of a little further clarification. The reason I wrote such a thing is because, aside from what comments I get at the blogs I get a lot of emails which run about 99% positive and some occasionally chiding with the notification that I am responsible for what others think and do and that I am some kind of a teacher who has a duty to live and act and speak a certain way.

The fact of the matter is that I do not have any such duty and I would be a fraud to pretend I was someone other than I am and which I see too often in circumstances like this. I happen to know people who pass themselves as certain kind of a person and they've got it down in public but that's not exactly who they are in private. Like Marlon Brando says to Karl Malden in "One-eyed Jacks"

"You may think you're a one-eyed Jack but I've seen the other side of your face.

If you find something useful in what I have to say then by all means take it for your own and whatever benefit may be there but don't create a false picture of me as something I'm not. This isn't to say I'm a bad guy. I generally live and walk and talk just the way I do here but I'm also human and I do things a certain way according to what works for me and may not work for others.

90% percent of the time I am living as clean as I can manage and my thoughts are upon the thoughts expressed but 10% percent is untamed wilderness and for the moment I like to keep it that way because one can get into some unfortunate situations by getting too holy and righteous for their own good and I am trying to avoid that. This is why I allow myself to snap on occasion at other blogs or write things some would wish I did not say.

I'm not going to go into details about what specifically provoked me to put this out there but I just think it needs be pointed out that mastery is a rare condition and that most of all of us, including me, are just at some point on a spiral stairway. I happen to think certain flaws and shortcomings may even be useful for different periods of operation. I do know that concealing them and presenting yourself as something you are not is a sure way to get that shown to you which is something I definitely don't want to encounter.

So... don't know what else to say.

Visible said...

Point taken, although... didn't I say that already in the post?

Futhermore, I didn't say that I use these things to achieve God Realization. I said I use it to burn the carbon off my pipes. That is exactly what I use it for and to look in on certain things which I can see for brief periods.

One of my biggest disappointments here and elsewhere is about being so careful to be precise in what I say and to have it seldom seen. This isn't meant as a criticism from me by the way. I never argue about whether these things can do things they can't do. I don't take them for that.

I do happen to know that most of the masters say things for the general public. There are always exceptions. This does not mean I think I am one but just that there's more going on then what gets said. By example. It is well known that Jesus said one thing to the crowds and something more to his disciples. And possibly even more to certain disciples.

Anonymous said...

The point about gurus speaking to the public and individually is crucial, though not acknowledged by most devotees.

In your previous post you mentioned the state of mind of holding one's breath under water. That's the thing I've experienced and witnessed. If you're not serious, well...you'll be wandering around in the foothills for a long time.

Anyway, Les, everything was extremely well put. Thank you. What a hassle sometimes to have to be so precise.

Picked up a fine book by Graham Hancock - "Supernatural". About the 50,000 yr old tradition of which you speak.

Hey, I had a bookstore too - in Marin County (Allah be praised, I'm outta there!) God/dess sent a flood, closed up shop and made it to Hopiland, spared me a career as shopkeeper.

Usually have dark-roast Timor with my morning American Spirit friends.

We're all feeling 'in a hurry'. What we do is better than sitting around pontificating about others' paths being "wrong"/"unGodly"/whatever, while worrying about "nocturnal emissions".....


Anonymous said...

Moreso to "worry" about that 'pea beneath twenty mattresses' than emissions, whether nocturnal or diurnal.


Visible said...

Only if you're a princess.

nina said...

We know and you know that any finger wagging naysayers are extremely fortunate to get even ONE word from your beautiful mind. That's the kind of man you are, generous. Would a naysayer be so generous? Hardly.
I don't really care who has put the questions to you, you are an adult free to make your own decisions and no one, NO ONE of the flesh has the right to rearrange your experience. You are too kind to those who have no ability to understand kindness. Gracious explanations to the suspicious will never be understood. You have seen the inside of their closets.
I see jealousy behind this. Toilet gossip, sound and fury signifying nothing.

m_astera said...

A while back I mentioned to Les in an email that at one point I ate psilocybe cubensis almost every day for over a year. When I started this, they tasted and smelled like fresh-baked bread to me. I finally quit because they started tasting nasty. Over the course of a year and more, there are a lot of things going on, and every day wasn't necessarily a step on the path to enlightenment. Sometimes I ate them and went to the tavern to drink beer and shoot pool.

I also ate my share of peyote buttons, tripping along Arizona mountain ridges in the moonlight, seeing into the ultraviolet range where the moths glowed in the darkness, exploring abandoned gold mines. The peyote always tasted nasty. I would compare it to mixed rotten meat and dirt. But it, like the mushrooms, is a valuable ally and I was always protected from harm. I have no regrets, I'd only regret if I hadn't done it.

FWIW, I love IQ tests and puzzles like that. Mine's still the same as when I was seventeen, with a lot of wisdom and experience added to that. A few years ago I wanted to see if I could pass the Mensa test, so I got the take home version. On the day of the test, I started smoking cannabis around 9am and smoked a hit or two off and on all day. Around 1 o'clock a.m. I figured I was primed enough, so I took the test, stayed within the time limit, and passed. Barely, but I passed.

So anyone who tries to tell me that those sort of natural substances harm the brain can kiss my ass.

As for guru what's his name, this is a material world, a material body, and one can indeed access altered dimensions by the use of material substances. Just 'cause he's never tried them, well, that's like asking a Catholic priest for advice about sex: "Don't do it, it's bad".

I can assure you that the Creator does not give a rat's ass that I took all those psychotropic substances. I love the Creator unconditionally, and the Creator loves me right back and then some.

Hey Les, have you noticed some strange dizziness off and on the last week or so? Feels like it's coming at you from outside?

Visible said...


I've had all kinds of shit hitting me recently and some of it is definitely coming from out side. One of the things that troubles me is why my normal sense of protection which has been intact for so long now seems porous; see the tail end of the mirrors thread for what happened to me just today.

I must keep my mind empty and endure because I can't imagine any other options. When I got bit and then found the centipede inside my pants leg today I didn't even get angry or say anything. i did kill the centipede for reasons explained elsewhere because I thought I'd see this guy before and spared him.

I don't know what's happening but I know regardless of whatever blinds get thrown over it or however hidden from me it may become that everything is in the hands of the supreme controller. I keep looking up at my wall above and seeing Babaji and Maharshi, Ganesha and Saraswati, Bawa... and wondering. I look and wonder but... I just don't know.

Nina... thank you for the balm of your kind and translucent words. I am certainly not worthy of them in all honesty but it feels a great deal better than what I've seen on my plate this day.

For months now it's been a real grind with little gaps of sunlight. I've been told that in August it turns around in a major way and begins to get much better soon but from where I'm sitting it's often scary... or maybe uncertain is a better word. There's apprehension because of the ongoing appearance of strange phenomena and some of it has stingers.

I consider this in connection with my relationship to the Devic Realm and wonder even more. A couple of days ago one of my dogs even bit me. It's looked worse than it was and it was partly my fault it happened too. I wasn't thinking clearly; probably because of all of this but... well... I guess keep watchful and move slow.

Anonymous said...

I prefer to call them plants who I firmly believe have something to tell us. Not drugs. Though I'm still not sure how much I know. SSRI now there's a drug! and a very bad one. Can I say that? Can I also say yuck?

Peace to all-C

nina said...

Wait a minute, something is coming to mind, do you remember a David Bowie film, something about The Man Who Fell to Earth, where he was treated very badly by humans? Yes, just a movie, but perhaps its your personal conundrum: A question to which only a conjectural answer can be made. Understand, you are to many a holy figure, a healer of the spirit and a light in our darkness, don't contend with this. Many times you have stated it is contention that gets us - you - into trouble. "Don't contend" is what you've said, or "The only thing wrong with me is me." This then would be a time for surrender, to your direction, your purpose and yourself. It is not to be interfered with. Interference with a person's essence is akin to the smashing of Babylon.
Your surrender will be interpreted unfortunately by those who are momentarily contending and used against you causing you hurt and confusion. This means surrender must be combined with patience and strength, both qualities which you possess but have just been a little too naked lately, shall we say, in a known to be cold and cruel world.
Sometimes, Les, you are very visible.

Love, nina

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'd say it will be getting a lot 'lighter' for you, sometime betw. the Festa of the BVM and the Day of Our Lady of Sorrows...
Yes, very strange vibrations, sonic booms over MX, sonic booms and lights in the sky over the atlantic coast and NW, I've heard those sonic booms as a frightened child in the duck and cover days and so I'd say our wonderful military is up to no good (again)...

Anonymous said...

Dear Les-

I just wanted to thank you again for your dedication to the path for truth, and please keep casting your pearls of wisdom even if they often seem unappreciated by sneering swine.

I am, as Jimi hendrix put it down, "experienced" with chemical keys to the doors of perception, and I too notice have noticed unusual bird activity in recent days.

Animals that resonate with us (either for fear or just sheer fascination)or come into our lives uninvited (at least consciously)are definitely imparting some sort of message, for better or for worse.

At first I sent you aural ribbons of compassion and protection (all blues and pinks) and then I googled this tidbit of totem info about the centipede's role as it relates to the Devic realm, which you may ( I hope) find to be some small measure of consolation:

"The Centipede Animal Totem:

The Centipede is a fast moving creature with many legs, its bite is poisonous and it is because of this that the Centipede is the symbol of Chiefs. They come in various colors and sizes, but usually do not grow larger than twelve inches. These larger types are known as Giant Centipede’s. The average Centipede is usually only several inches long. They do not like to be handled and will often bite if irritated. They are often kept as pets by many for their interesting coloring and reputation for bringing good luck.

The Centipede is the totem of Chiefs because of its poisonous bite and rapid movements. There is a legend about the Centipede that tells that its painful bite and quick movements frightens even the grand and magnificent Dragon. Indeed Centipede’s frighten many because of their rapid movement and many legged body. It is a wonder that something so small can humble even the largest and most threatening of creatures and people.

The Centipede possesses several virtues that are powerful and valuable and which any person would be wise to emulate or divine. One who has the power of the Centipede will see enhanced fortune and an improved social life. Many accomplished gamblers are fond of carrying them as they are small and can be stowed in a pocket or purse. They are said to bring increased winnings to gamblers and ward off bad luck or black magic.

The Lucky Centipede Totem possesses the following virtues:
Gamblers Luck, general good luck, speed, energy, quiet ferocity, healing, improved social life, reduction in negative energy.

Centipede Pearls are said to impart their particular magical virtues to their owner. Their Pearls are characteristic of its host animal; they possess all the characteristics that may be seen in the Centipede itself; the stealth and force of this small creature is contained within the pearl waiting for its proper owner to bestow its inner magic to that unique and fortunate individual.

The owner of a Centipede pearl will see their spiritual energy and mental clarity imbued with the virtues attributed to the Centipede."

Be well, Les.

I don't know about you, but I love to burn little bundles of white sage when I feel under siege.

Annie the mouse

m_astera said...


I got the lesson to keep my head down in the physical world a little over two years ago when I first moved to this island. Ended up spending five days and nights in the desert with only shorts, t-shirt, flip-flops, a towel, and a small backpack. It was the safest place to be at the time.

I was writing to a friend about these recent "attacks" that just seem to derail me emotionally, take me down side roads that aren't even me, not even how I think. Her take on it was that there is, for lack of a better word, a generic force of darkness that is attracted to us right now and wants to fuck with us.

That makes sense, because none of what I've been experiencing lately feels like it has a specific source, not like someone doing juju on me.

I also felt totally disconnected from Nature and Earth the other night. Very strange and unsettling for me. Had to do some conscious work on reconnection today. It's not Nature, she's still there.

That generic negative force being attracted makes the most sense right now. Keep on keepin' on. That's about all we know how to do anyway.

About those birds: can't remember their name,(juncos?) but I used to have them around my place in the NW. The males like to fight with their reflections in glass. I used to have one wake me up every morning doing that on the french door next to my bed.

m_astera said...

Looks to me like the battle has started in earnest.

We just have to remember to love each other, to remember how much we love each other, to remember who we are and why we love each other.

Guy said...

Hello Les

Where I am on the hill, I have had a chaffinch who has been doing the window tapping for a couple of years now, although other people worry him. He likes me to put some birdseed on the windowledge, and he likes me to watch him feed sometimes because it makes him feel safe. Sometimes he is just saying hello, I think. But it is such a nice thing, isn't it? A piece of goodness in a bad world.

All the best


Anonymous said...

Be careful, go slow.

Visible said...

There is a new Reflections in a Petri Dish up now.

Living the Thug Life in Armani

nina said...

Forgive me please, FWIW, this is a cross posting from the discussion ongoing at Psychegram's Hawk Vision. There might be some things of interest for you, Les:

"I have to go over to Origami now and lay down some bird-on-glass observations. They will smash into clean glass accidentally thinking the reflections are just more sky. Instant death. Inside the flocks, especially in the monogamous families, word gets out among them a barrier exists at that location and the skeptics will come around to check it out for themselves.
The answer is of course, don't wash the outside of your windows and preferably, use screens. Its a sad sad thing to learn about the softness and gleaming chestnut amber belly feathers of a father Quail by having to carry him to a visible spot on the hill for quick recyling.

Also, this is exactly the time the migrators, such as the Dark-Eyed Juncos, leave on their long journeys to cooler temps. The books will tell you they come back in September, but that isn't it at all. They came back late last October when the first chill of winter blew in. This is the time to keep our bird feeders brimming and extra fresh water bowls everywhere since they need strength to make the journey north. Godspeed.

I don't mean to disregard the spiritual meanings in any way with "birder observations". The things I've mentioned here have more questions than answers. For example, how is it that word gets out? How is it that some know and other never will? Who decides where to migrate and when? Is it really the weather that decides or is it when the spring babies mature enough to achieve flight endurance? ...

A large Banded Pigeon just hit the clearstory window --- owwwww.

This should have been expected because the Bandeds just today returned on their migration away from the more southern temps and appear to have short memories and likely some new members unfamiliar with this location. It is interesting they remember long routes and familiar terrain, but some details evade them. Like us, relearning lessons over and over again to our great disadvantage.

Anonymous said...

Had downpours here the last 2 days, and the birds were flying in them-rare because of the wind that accompanied the rain-coming over to the feeder and stocking up--I have also noticed the cats getting quite a few birds this year so far--feathers everywhere as well as eaten carcasses--the cats are no more nimble than in past years--are the birds losing something? I have also noticed over the past 2 years or so that raccoon, muskrats, groundhogs are getting hit on the roads much more than in past years--i sense something is "off"--I can feel it in myself but allow it to turn--a steady imbalance..brain swoons washing over from time to time--at times almost sensual in the "feeling"--so, I'm taking it that way and not thinking about it or trying to label it--Have been re-stocking as a matter of course--it's just in the wind--and here I am--laying low—

I just posted this over at moon food and Nina’s:
We need to look at what others have done against the imperialists. Let them come ashore. Don't try to make your stand on the beach--I keep getting this "thing" that the first wave of what happens--whatever it will be-- is not the real thing--that comes after the reaction they expect from the sheeple--
if there is no such reaction, or something they don't expect--they won't know which way to turn--simply outlast them like the Vietnamese, Afghanistan, Iraq, it's all the same. Disappear in plain sight and they will get bored, lazy, and sloppy. The time will come.
Not to say you don't do something in a direct confrontation but only if directly confronted--that famous line about "had we met them in the stairwells with pitchforks" comes to mind--
It only takes a slight mention when buying something in a store like: "there goes more taxes to the gov't" and there is a chorus from anyone within earshot about the rotten gov't--it is catching on--people are pissed off and not even trying to hide it like they used to--all ages, etc.
I think people were more scared of Bush and Co. or something--it was palpable--not now, at least not yet-- Interesting--
Have enjoyed many of your comments over time--you are a sick and twisted individual--I like that!!


The part about Bush and people being scared "back then"--it just encapsulated itself tonight-like bush just fell off the face of the earth--"turns out he was a missing person who nobody missed at all" (thanks Dixie Chicks)I knew there was something different--at least the way people see things/feel things on the surface--of course the fear-mongers want you to think that Obama is going to get rid of guns or whatever, but there is a less "Bushligula" feeling--wonder what the new guy will do/allow, to pick up where the last guy left off--definitely time for more booga -booga.......ALL the nigga's is gettin' uppity down on the plantation---and they can't have that---

13 Muluc said...

I have noticed that aspirants to realization exist on a continuum. At one end is the climber (or oak)and at the other is the dancer (or willow). The first attains through discipline and tradition, the other through surrender and intuition. Both are valid. Tools such as mind-manifesting drugs and ecstatic trance are appropriate to the dancer's path. The dancer's teachers come and go in many forms, human and otherwise. This path is shorter and more dangerous than the climber's. A climber who attempts the dancer's way risks raving insanity. (This is no exageration.)But the dancer who forces him/herself onto a climber's path ends up discouraged and exhausted. I wasted a lot of time and energy beating myself up for being such a lousy climber. Now I enjoy the dance. As to Srila Prabhupada's statement, "If drugs could help God realization, Then drugs would be more powerful than God." you could say the same thing about yoga or meditation and it would be just as untrue.

Visible said...

13 Muluc;

That is one of the most powerful responses I have ever had here and encapsulated everything I 'wanted' to say but missed doing.

I can say by direct experience that what you say is true, even to the fact that my Kundalini awakening which took place via the sky power substance also put me directly into the Shiva state and often into the Nataraja pose. It's all the more fantastic because at the time I had no knowledge of the entity.

Although that was the promise of what waits down the line it is not present in this moment except at invisible, precipitating levels. After all, one cannot storm the gates of Heaven. However, one can temporarily crash the scene for a time, until one's samskaras return one back into the time of their unraveling.

How many ways you nailed it... I can't say except for the bells going off all along the course of my reading, as the images made contact with the truth of my own experience.

I want to thank you for this.

Though I am gradually moving away from what has been consistent with my path and though all of the companions that eased the passage are departing as their duties have been fulfilled I know that what will replace them is the thing itself.

Some few weeks ago I found myself in a state of intoxication that was as natural as could be and I was literally reeling from the wine of Bacchus... the inner released soma... the ambrosia, all it what you will but it was really something and it was in and out for a couple of days. During that period I found myself laughing at times where I feared for my sanity as it seemed I might be unable to stop. Lucky for me my sanity went away a long time ago.

There was a red rimmed haze around my eyes and this exceptional wine released things from various times in my life as if they were completely new in the moment. I can tell you that I miss it now.

So, despite my disposition toward the higher end of what has been available terrestrially I know that there are chemical possibilities within that go far beyond what I can acquire outside of me; not only in quality but in the product of one's state.

This rare occurrence has happened to me only a few times in my life but each one has been memorable. Once I was reading a pamphlet that I think was called "The Mother". It was written by Sri Aurobindo or his consort. Suddenly I went into that state and it stayed with me for hours. At the time I was in deep shit, both internally and externally with temporal authorities.

Well... I won't go on except to say that my only reason for engaging in these things is my eagerness for union. It is hard to bear being separated from the thing I love more than anything else and which is the least present aspect of this world at least in terms of appearance.

There is nothing here that can match what passes between the human consciousness and the divine. With it we are richer than any king has ever been and without it we are poorer than the meanest beggar whether we know it or not.

squabby. said...

Thank you for this blog, I find it interesting that we should be discussing the validity of using drugs for such purposes. Reading comments that assess psycadelic drugs as good or bad, or only one path to realization as worthwhile is an affront to my sensabilities. If we consider the premise that all is GOD then how could one Godly choice somehow be less valid than another. Our ego is the culprit, creating divisivness in our minds establishes preferences which in turn seperates us from our GOD self. How can we assume this world is a material world? Simple tenets like time, death, space and physicality are yet to be understood by the masses. In my humble opinion LSD, peyote, mushrooms whatever is not any more material than the desk you sit at. All the things we consider material are simply our Godly manifestation veiled in a dream, a dream only because of our ego filter misreads reality. All is GOD, God is love. Metaphysians have adequately itentified our entire existence to be nothing more than conciousness in an infinate array of wavelengths. So in closing if we could all understand that we are only ONE then the earth, and our world would be edenic. Imagine the freedom to allow all choices to be understood as expressions of God. Re. Peter O Erbe, "GOD I AM" most excellent book.

Visible said...


Well understood and appreciated. And, as you can imagine... I would surely appreciate hearing from you.

Ben There said...

Three weeks ago a bird, a pigeon to be exact, moved in with us for about a week and a half. He attached himself to us and slept in various places in our garage. He would come right up to you and look you in the eye, land on you if you'd let him (which I wouldn't). He would leave during the day and return right about sundown and sleep in the garage. We thought we had a new pet and he seemed to want to come in the house so we began cage shopping so we could let him in the house. He had a cool temparment and we named him "Nostradamus". Before I could obtain a good cage he left, so far never to return.

It's funny because initially he scared my wife (because he seemed to stalk her) but when he left she was especially sad. We missed him for the first couple days. Now it's just a funny memory.

Anonymous said...

I don't think birds like being named--

As Neil Young said:
Love is a rose but you better not pick it
Only grows when it's on the vine
Hand full of thorns and you know you've missed it
Lose the love when you say the word mine--
Then again, you could put "Freebird" on the old stereo and see if the flier comes back--


Visible said...

Geez.. .and I thought it was Linda Ronstadt.

Anonymous said...

"Love Is A Rose" is a song written by Neil Young in 1974 for the unreleased album Homegrown. It was later released in 1977 on the compilation Decade"--and this from Wikipedia, so you know it's true---

Linda Ronstadt was one of my first crushes--always wanted to nail Julie Andrews too---
Ah, the hills are alive with the sound of music-----


Visible said...

I'm not debating that. It's just that Linda Ronstadt gets credited for it in a lot of places and also as the author which can be misleading which is why I thought it was hers.

That's not the only song that happens to.

Anonymous said...


m_astera said...

But she did write "I Ride an Old Paint", didn't she? :)

psychegram said...


Been wondering where you'd been, man. Every once in a while you stop in for a comment somewhere but no activity otherwise ... well ... you're forgiven. And it would make perfect sense that people like you would be singled out for attack ... I seem to have avoided the worst of it myself but then, I'm 'small fry', at least in this time-frame.

Love you, man. Hope that helps fight the demons away.

13 Muluc:

(and what an odd name you've chosen, I'm most curious as to it's meaning)


I have a feeling most of the people here are on the dancer's path. (Does that make this place a dance club?) Even in the profane world, I've always preferred dancing to climbing ... and while when I climb to the top of a hill I can sometimes see the sacred, it was through dancing that I first really and truly felt it.

m_astera said...

Psychegram, and my other true friends here, thanks for the love and good wishes.

Just to clear things up, I don't have a problem with depression unless there is a damn good reason for it. What I get is burnout. I give and give until I just can't give any more, the well is dry. When that happens the only thing I've found that works is to shut down for two or three weeks and cut off contact with everyone and everything as much as possible. It's not like I need help or sympathy, I just need total alone time.

The demons and the attacks are no worse than usual. I just note them, realize what they are, and that alone pretty much neutralizes their power. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. :)

My shut-down time was finished about ten days ago and I've been back up and running at full speed since, just not here, though I do find the time to read most of the essays Les writes and the posts you all leave. That is my pleasure reading.

It's a busy time for those involved in aspects of food growing, but I also have another "project" that has been monopolizing almost all of my writing, a new labor of love that is bringing me a lot of joy.

My path has required both the willow and the oak. I needed the discipline, no matter how painful, to train my will, and I needed the dance to break my spirit free of its bodily prison.

Les, I know the connection of which you speak, that direct connection. I too have only had it occasionally, but it's the finest, the highest high for sure. One day it will be there always.

Love to you all-

sounder said...

13 Muluc said...
I have noticed that aspirants to realization exist on a continuum. At one end is the climber (or oak)and at the other is the dancer (or willow). The first attains through discipline and tradition, the other through surrender and intuition. Both are valid.

So true, so true. Now to find a way to get the climbers and the dancers to work together, rather than the thinking that they are at cross purposes.

(The manifest expression reflects the balance between order and liberty within consciousness.)

Anonymous said...


This is the stuff, here!!!

Thanks for sharing yourself big time here!!!

"The key to anything is one’s sincerity of purpose" - the true bother

You have give us a window and a means of action too, great!!!!

PS, the clear mind is better than durgs. Now than, you have all the "time" ever to reach that clear mind!!!!!

Matt durkeematthew@hotmail.com

Amanda said...

Psychegram: 13 Muluc is my Tzolkin birthdate. The Tzolkin is the sacred 260 day calendar of the Mayans.



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