Wednesday, December 02, 2009

She's so Heavy, She's your Mother.

It started a couple of months before this time last year. I was in a good mood and looking forward to a number of projects that I had in mind for the period running up to now and beyond. There were things I wanted to accomplish and a number of things that I wanted to add and discard from my makeup. It started off well. I drove down here with a friend and had a good few days and then... the heaviness arrived and pressed down on me, making it difficult to do more than write blog entries and take care of the daily chores.

It’s been like that since, with a couple of periods where I was forced off the rails for a short time that felt longer than it was. I’ve written about them. One of them was awhile ago now and one of them was about a month ago. My sense of time isn’t that great because it’s always right now. I don’t have the luxury of living in a projected future or a zone of reminiscing. Those two things are big items in most lives and tend to make the matters of the moment less stressful. It’s a kind of global escapism that operates around the planet. People color the past and they put a smiley face on the future (cue Dusty Springfield, “Wishin’ and Hopin’”).

People talk about God the Father and God the Mother. You get a lot of the former in the west and the latter in the east. It’s really interplay between the two personalities of a single being (hopefully I’m not gravitating toward impersonality here. I’ve never had to watch my doctrinal ass before.). Some say it’s a three-fold composition. The Hindus have it defined best; creator, preserver and destroyer. Christianity is kind of confusing with that Father, Son and Holy Ghost thing. Mostly it’s the Holy Ghost as replacement for the feminine principle that throws me. The Buddhists have ‘hungry ghosts’ but there wouldn’t be any parallel there.

Whatever religion you study, you find the same basic principles at work and most of them have a dying sun/son God who has got the immortality/resurrection thing going on, on some level. The waters have gotten a lot muddier these days with all the talk about enduring bloodlines and elites; bio-engineered humanity, aliens and secret societies and lots more. These things tend to make my eyes glaze over. I don’t know what to do with them.

In my journeys to this point I have seen some ‘bipedal reptiles’. This was a very recent thing. I’ve seen flying saucers but mostly interdimensional examples. There were a couple of times that I might have seen a craft or two that were from this dimension but I’m not sure what they were. I’m very sure about the other. Interdimensional beings and saucers are real according to my experience. I don’t know about the other. I don’t know about secret societies but there’s a great deal of evidence for them. I belong to an order- if my various initiations mean anything- but I don’t know what it is or even what it’s called. I never got a name for my teacher and know nothing about his provenance.

I try to separate my experiences from my speculations and the things I have read. I’ve never experienced some of the things I have read and I don’t agree with the concept that a certain small group of elite beings has ruled the affairs of Earth for thousands of years. I know there are people that believe this but I can’t get my head around it. What I get is that there are a number of groups active at this sort of thing and they are at war with each other for primacy which none of them ever achieves. I don’t know about their lines of continuity. Maybe they’ve existed in unbroken lines and maybe they just fade and reform as certain principles and practices are rediscovered and then come and go in their own time... lasting for as long as they last.

In the Hindu tradition, the feminine principle is associated with action and force; prakriti and, of course, the writhing Kali mounted upon the prone Shiva. They tend to see a lot of the interaction of the divine in a sexual way and I tend to see it like that too. In all of my sojourns into the invisible and the unknown, I have never seen anything Christian or Islamic. I always see Buddhas and Hindu deities. I’ve had some experiences with Egypt where I was underground in chambers that had hieroglyphics written on sandstone walls, with amber lighting coming from somewhere. I’ve seen holographic serpents moving in and out of the Earth and I have felt the serpent power within, attended by all sorts of peculiarities of behavior.

I don’t know how important these bloodlines and societies are to me. I tend to believe that the dark cabals are set off against orders of light and that everything that takes place here is the result of magical wars. I don’t get the feeling that the dark side has any power over me unless I engage it or involve myself in activities that are in the area of its control. There might be a gambling casino or a brothel around the corner but I have to go there to partake of the action.

These days it seems that evil is attributed to every organization that ever was. There doesn’t seem to be any good guys. That can’t be right. Maybe everything you try to do down here comes up against the temporal authority and maybe, eventually, every good effort is corrupted down the line; just to show us that nothing here is permanent or perfect. I notice that everything fades, including me, in the corporate sense. Apparently gold doesn’t tarnish. Much of what I see has a symbolic meaning to me and for everything physical there is a spiritual counterpart.

A few readers have been at me about my mention of an arriving avatar. Some have said that’s foolish and there’s no such thing. However, we’ve got ample record of something fitting that description coming and going at regular intervals. Every age seems to possess at least one and sometimes more. All of them might not be avatars but they’ve had an impact. I’m certain about the avatar. People can believe as they choose. It doesn’t change what it true for me. I don’t know when he’s coming or any salient details but I’m sure it’s scheduled.

We are in the midst of enormous transformations. We can’t see it as it is because much of the usual day to day remains for the moment. This is causing a lot of pressure and that accounts for the heaviness I mentioned earlier. I suspect many people are feeling this and wondering what happened to the occasional joy and moments of happiness that used to pass in and out on their way to someone else. Pressure has to find an outlet at some point, the same way that suppressed hungers will eventually surface to the dismay of the ones involved. Sublimation is a seriously important tool that is much overlooked by most people.

I’m left with the impression that I just have to keep on keeping on. I have to endure whatever this is and drive toward the goal as if all of this heaviness and gray landscape were a motivating force. I have to use it to impel me inward and onward. I can’t engage it or confront it. That leads to unfortunate moments which I would rather avoid. It’s almost as if something is hiding from me and I have to keep looking even though it’s a lot harder than it used to be. Spiritual practices are more difficult to accomplish than they were, which gives me the idea that they might be much more important than they were.

I’m writing about this because I suspect others are feeling similar things and I thought it might be good to bring it up. I haven’t been able to answer my emails for over two weeks now and that’s part of all of this. I’m working toward that but... but... there’s that heaviness. I see no way out except through. So, I keep on choodlin’ and keep it in mind that Proud Mary keeps on burning. Things don’t stay the same. Sometimes it feels like nothing is ever going to change but somehow it always does. Too often it changes into more of the same; a cosmetic makeover but it’s still you fooling yourself that you’re different. You just changed the wrong things. The idea was sound but it was the wrong procedure.

I’m anchored pretty good compared to other times. It just doesn’t feel all that good because something has gone missing out of the general course of things. Everyone is dealing with this in their own way and many are attributing it to this or that. Lots of people aren’t talking about it for fear of appearing strange to the other people who are playing the same game of pretending nothing is happening; just flash that automatic smile and say, “I’m good, could be better. How about you?”

Whatever it is, I can’t see it taking too much longer but ...what do I know? I am thinking there are times that you just have to apply yourself to the end result, no matter what things may look like. You have to ignore appearances and press on. I’m thinking this is one of those times.

Visible sings: Almost A Capella by Les Visible♫ I'm in my Car ♫
'I'm in my Car' is track no. 2 of 12 on Visible's 2007 album 'Almost A Capella'

Almost A Capella by Les Visible

The New Shangri-La

61 comments:

kikz said...

press on...

agreed .

Pstonie said...

These are the good old days.

jdm6 said...

Hi Les
You are definitely not the only one and like you I have no idea why or where it's going.
I don't normally use other people's lyrics but these seemed appropriate somehow.

Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de
Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure - that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
Um ba ba be
Um ba ba be
De day da
Ee day da - that's ok
It's the terror of knowing
What the world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher
Pressure on people - people on streets
Day day de mm hm
Da da da ba ba
Ok
Chippin' around - kick my brains around the floor
These are the days it never rains but it pours
Ee do ba be
Ee da ba ba ba
Um bo bo
Be lap
People on streets - ee da de da de
People on streets - ee da de da de da de da
It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming 'Let me out'
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher high high
Pressure on people - people on streets
Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love
but it's so slashed and torn
Why - why - why ?
Love love love love love
Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love give love
give love give love give love give love give love
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And loves dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

tim said...

Les;
Do you think the Avatar will appear as a man like the Kalki Avatar from Hinduism? I'm wondering if the Divine will manifest the Avatar through all of us. What do you think? I hope my comments about this in the past has not offended you, it's just my egoity being very impatient for this transformation to happen.

Guldur said...

And back to the Children of darkness vs. Children of light issue yet. It is not by accident that God made the Earth the focal point where they meet. They are small in number but big (huge) in power, quite opposite to our, Children of light´s, condition and by their evil and wickedness they are here to make us better, to improve, evolve us, or these minor in human crowd, who want to be improved and able to move the the higher step of the quntum theatre. They are here for the purpose of dividing grain from the chaff.
But remember, although all the masses are invited, only few are welcome - willing to overcome . Because their aim is to take as much of people as deep downwards as they can with them and seems the majority of people will be taken, thus repeating the cycle or even stepping to a lower one as I understand it. Because the precession day passing the cardinal point on 21. 12. 2012 will be double re-adjustment, not only on the solar, but also on galactinc (Sothic) level as well. Thus you can grow or degrade exponentially.
Sorry for so long and maybe somewhat chaotic comment, but I consider this of utter significance and aware of my own material and other low lusts and appetites I often find myself as a mere human, I hope I will be able to stand up to these words I urge you to. But most importantly I pray to God for my 2 children, for all children on Earth and other innocent and brave souls to take the step and have the power and will to overcome all trials and uneasy things that can appear in their way for their is the future. I pray for you in a prayer which is not a prayer after all but my personal begging to God for the bettering of the world.
Thank you.
Ondrej (Guldur)

Guldur said...

Salute all brave souls here!
Sorry for being partially off topic with my post. As a regular reader (but very non-regular commenter) of Visible´s stuff and conneted discussions I know how often the true nature and origins of the evil minority currently ruling this world is being discussed. Various teories are being put forward here. Actually, each of them has it´s part in truth about these beings.
In fact, they are not only completely different from what defines human being, they are quite reversely, the are the Children of darkness stepping down the quantum ladder from the higher planes of existence, while we are the Children of light, struggling to step the opposite way.
Devolution is their evolution, evil (and all that accompanies that element) is their good for their nature goes opposite, downgrading way and it is their purpose of existence (whether they are aware of it as it is or not.
We as people generally have all our necessary knowledge and wisdom (enabling us to feel what´s wrong and unjust, etc.) hidden in our heart, perfectly providing all the means for spiritual and subsequently physical evolution for all who have the will to go that and the ability to feel.
On the other way, they have all the advances inherited to physical form and raw mind, so being actually much more powerful, skillful and knowledgeable then us, but completely unable to feel, because their hearts (of whatever they have) are directing them only downwards towards degraded and pervert, purely materialistic, etc. matters, which will take them their desired way...
It is as above so below and you can go up or down. I think Les would catch this, because he is a person who is led by his heart (which then supports his inner knowledge and convictions) he is able to feel/see the truth as it is. Besides he has the gift to choose most proper and suitable words to communicate it to others (much unlike me :-)), so that is the way I feel about you, comrade and thus now I can trust you and share most of your takes on the ending process this rotten age of Kali Yuga is comming to at speed on the precession of equinox 2012.
All you need to know about the Children of darkness and about all connected things explaining how world actually works (hey, its about quantum physics principles!) you can find here http://www.endoftime2012.com/succession-of-life.php (chapter containing the Children of darkness stuff), but I strongly emphasize all the long chapters are definitely worth reading. Although some may find it too „hard“ and not readable at moments, truth and wisdom (impersonal as it is) is contained in that and for me it is possibly one of the most essential text I have ever read (and read quite much).

Zoner said...

Yes, the pressure is felt here as well. It has removed the desire and even ability to do many things that would have previously brought about those small moments of joy and peace, and replaced it with a sense that a distillation process is taking place. Most simply do not work anymore, and others are revealed as the self-deception that they are.

It's almost as if those little things were there for the purpose of enticement, and now the test is to see how badly you want to be there under different circumstances and rules.

After spending a lifetime trying to draw things in and winding up with a huge pile, it is all shown to be nothing but a burden, and the only thing that will solve this dilemma is to turn myself inside-out.

A change of orientation.

Expression outward with all that is ever needed at the core rather than seeking to fill the (seemingly) empty core by looking outside and drawing things in.

A great example of the symbolism in my life is found in a process that has been taking place in my physical body. I wonder at the true cause of this situation. My heart is literally being entombed by scar tissue, as if it is being constantly cut and forced to heal these tiny wounds. I'm told it is the result of exposure to a fungus, which created an auto-immune response, but.......

Pretty good lesson, eh?

Endure. Many of my peers tell me that we have done so, and that things will now begin to improve again (based on economic trends - that is the biggie here it seems). We'll see about that, I guess.

Thank you for sharing this. It helps a great deal to know that others are being pressed upon in the same manner, and that they intend to allow themselves to be shaped by this force rather than being crushed.

Z

Anonymous said...

Les
Thanks for sharing! I feel this way too. Its like carring around an atlas on the shoulders but its really just a bigger piece of the maya between us thats taking form as I start to expand my understanding of things? I see why the wise move slow?

"Spiritual practices are more difficult to accomplish than they were, which gives me the idea that they might be much more important than they were."

I cant help but suggest youre linked up with the forces and feel this moving snake under foot too? Ive had a harder time getting into the flow and ideas spin around much more before they come to rest, this days. I think youre correct about Spiritual practices and hope you share a bit more for the readers here?

Visible said...

Zoner;

It's not like there's a choice (grin). I mean, there is a choice but that's no choice at all.

Thanks for taking the time to say what you did Guldar.

and Tim... I have long thought... and this goes way back... that the returning Christ would come in the collective hearts of humanity. This doesn't take away from the Kalki presence because the avatar is the avatar no matter how he chooses to behave and always comes in the hearts of humanity anyway but I mean especially so this time.

My instincts; not that I should trust them, tells me it's going to go off in many hearts simultaneously and tap delay (grin). No one has ever known ahead of time the shape the one will take in terms of presentation. There are some who know but they are silent.

I get the eerie feeling that a lot of things are just going to happen with no warning whatsoever, as if the warning has long been given and increasingly so. This means that the larger portion of humanity will be caught flatfooted due to not having been inclined to hear; having a listening ear. Others will wonder why it took so long.

tim said...

well spoken, Guldur. I like the quantum ladder explanation.

Anonymous said...

Les
"My instincts; not that I should trust them, tells me it's going to go off in many hearts simultaneously and tap delay"

You nailed it. I thinkin the heart is first and instincts come out of it? The path up to the mind is big too? I feel if I can clear this path, Ill be in better way to tap this? Im thinkin about all this with the old ancient path of engery in minded?
Another way to look at this might be to become the "avatar?" The body is a kinds of avatar for the mind/soul anyway?

Anonymous said...

Les,
You continue to blow my mind I have been thinking about the Holy Ghost thing for the last several years as the feminine principle to the 'Trinity' I have not heard anyone agree to that concept or dwell on it.
It just makes sense does'nt it?

Thank you as always.

cj.

Pstonie said...

I have a theory that the kind of people who can sense the building wave of change are now in the eye of the storm for the most part.

In a global wave of change like this there should be pressure of all forms on everyone. The people that are now less hypnotised by main stream media and can feel this wave approaching are for the moment quite few, and if you think about the type of people that are sufficiently searching to experience the start of such a thing, it makes sense that these people would've had enough foresight in their lives to avoid the kind of situations that most of the populace are probably actively dealing with.

I personally have felt pretty disillusioned with what other people seemingly take for granted for as long as I can remember, and as a result I probably haven't bought into the poker game of life as much as the next guy.

For things to continue in the pattern I've known since birth would be worse than a death sentence from my perspective. For me, and I imagine a lot of people that have felt the same, now that we know of the coming change the wait has become pretty much unbearable.

So basically a lot of us could be in the eye of the storm so to speak because if you ain't got nothing, you ain't got nothing to lose. What do you think?

tim said...

Thanks, les. Your optimism helps a lot.

Anonymous said...

Three words.

Ben There said...

"Spiritual practices are more difficult to accomplish than they were, which gives me the idea that they might be much more important than they were."

This is my experience right now, really to such an extreme that I can't help but laugh at myself. Willpower and discipline have been at an all time low although I'm in the process of changing that through sheer brute force.

Anonymous said...

Les,

Whatever the truth is, it will be known soon. By soon, I mean in our lifetime.

All that I can say from where I sit is that it is great to be alive with an open mind. I am glad that I did not go through life thinking the meaning of life was sitting in front of a TV with a beer in my hand. To some it is.

It is imporetant to remember that we are the observer of life. Learn, grow and ascend.

I feel the gathering of mighty forces. What this means I do not know. I will just be.

Keep on, keepinng on.

Amicus

Anonymous said...

That said...

Yo mama's so heavy...

she whistles bass.

when she steps on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'

God created her...and on the seventh day rested.

You're right, Les, not everything is evil or bad.

A chuckle can also move mountains..

Anonymous said...

Les --

A favorite saying among the elite was once "the more you know, the more you owe." Although altruistic on the surface, like many of their masonically-inspired homilies, it is left open ended and purposely obscure. The more you owe to who? Now most of know it is to the satanic earthly forces...

This is the same for god's "chosen people" statements. We naturally assume they are talking about "our" god -- when in fact it's another of their big jokes -- not a lie... Of course the God that chose them -- once again -- is the materialistic deity we know as Satan.

Per the good guys -- real children of light -- our saying should be understood as "the more you suffer, the closer to the true spiritual nature of god you approach." The Job story is key here. Materialists look at Job story and conclude he is nuts. Who would believe in a God that is so cruel? But a closer reading reveals that Job's suffering was at the hands of men. Why then did he continue to bask in God's radiance? Simply because the more the earthly suffering -- the more REAL SPIRITUAL comfort to be found in the arms of God.

The more things are stripped from us, the more real the love of God becomes -- for it is in his/arms that we find shelter from the storm... and realize that the spiritual is every bit as real and concrete as the materialists deny.

RJ

neptune1 said...

"The waters have gotten a lot muddier these days with all the talk about enduring bloodlines and elites; bio-engineered humanity, aliens and secret societies and lots more. These things tend to make my eyes glaze over. I don’t know what to do with them."

I don't know what to do with them either but one thing for sure they have to be recognized and acknowledged. One does not have to believe in any of it but it is important to remember that
THEY do and that ideology, no matter what it is - no matter how non-sensible it seems, is what drives them to do what they do.

OK time to cue Dusty Springfield:

http://www.4shared.com/file/164138760/ebe3a95e/Dusty_Springfield_-_Wishin__Ho.html

Hank said...

So many facets on this gem Les. One of those articles and trains of thought that cause me to try and wrap my mind around the whole big picture. It's Wheel of Fortune where, not only are there not enough letters to determine what the phrase is, but the letters don't exist to make the words to complete the phrase. I don't know whether my mind is simply not big enough or whether the big picture so mercurial that it cannot be contained in a single thought. Of course there is always the possibility that there is no ultimate definition to existence, and my quest is just Quixotic.

I feel the pressure, but it defies description. I believe that it is no only a pressure that I have never felt before, but that it's a pressure that no one alive has ever felt before. However I feel confident it has been here before.

The warnings are here and have been for a long time. They are written in events that are blurred by time and the telling until they are not recognizable. But they are felt. Americans are arming themselves in record numbers. Gun and ammunition sales are through the roof, but if you could collectively ask them why, I am certain they could not give a precise answer. They simply feel the shit storm coming. Their natural instinct to protect themselves has been activated.

I think it's one of those things that happens when there are more questions than answers about the events people see going on around them. We as a race have more information available to more people than ever before, and those in power are losing their ability to control the message. They no longer have the time to make all their engineered events look and sound reasonable, and once people see one event for the BS that it is, they go back in their minds and history and start looking at many other events with new eyes.

The storm is building. Murdered women and children in Gaza. The growing realization that steel frame high rise buildings don't simply collapse into their own footprint. The blatant theft of their prosperity by sinister greedy banking forces, facilitated by government. The loss of our finest in elective wars that have nothing to do with our national security. The fact that we can afford these wars without question, but the cost of providing health care is an issue, and on and on and on....until, even though people can't tell you what key it's in, they know it does not ring true.

For those of us who are able to see and hear and reason, it ends up feeling like living on death row. Just waiting in dread for the day when they come and tell you, it's time.

But that is all in THIS life, and this life is just a small part of our lives. There are lessons to learn and knowledge to be had, and feeling to be felt and that has a lot to do with why we chose these lives. So we go on, and through with the knowledge that we are here for a reason, and if we seek union with the power that made us, and others that do the same, we will travel this journey in good company. Peace to all.

Anonymous said...

Les,
"Son of a preacherman" from Dusty Springfield did it for me they say they asked Aretha Franklin to do it but she passed it by the first time around.

cj.

Visible said...

She was one of the great white soul singers but really, I was just interested in what the title stated which is not reflected in the lyrics of the song at all. It could have been by anyone; some poetic license which I hope doesn't get revoked. I do have a 'concealed carry' permit.

LTC24/7 said...

I echo your universal feeling of apathetic paralysation.
Beyond meeting the absolute minimum costs of food and lodging -NOTHING has been happening for several weeks.
No amasing of capital or material possessions, no TV, no printed MSM, no tobacco, no drugs, no casual sex, no self gratification, sleeping half the day when not working (for sustenance rent and food), staying up half the night on the alternative internet sites nightly, a mass of home repairs, erands and equivalent not been done for several weeks, dreams about the true beginning of the end of the middle class when the Copenhagen treaty global tax is signed by all nations, waking in the morning so sorrowful weeping actually occurs.

Is this the prelude to the end of materialism? Am I unconsciously aware that the things I am no longer able to motivate myself to do will soon be completely irrelevant? Sort of like vacuuming and washing an old car the day before it goes to the junkyard to be crushed?
Is the material world momentarily going to end? Is that why I cannot motivate myself to engage in any of the material world beyond food and shelter?

I feel it very strongly. I don't know where it's coming from or what it really means. Powerful apathy and accompanying immobility on almost all fronts except minmal food and shelter.

Anonymous said...

Love your comments Hanks, thanks!!!

nina said...

It’s almost as if something is hiding from me ... I’m writing about this because I suspect others are feeling similar things ...

I'm sure you will find it, Detective, its only a matter of time. I know exactly what you mean and have actually uttered the same phrases in the recent past thinking always about the elusive key seeming intentionally just beyond reach. I have confidence it will come to you before it comes to others as is generally the case, so please share.
A talented but little known musician once said the most intense art comes from living in a vaccuum.
Obviously this means if you are looking for the elusive key, its there for you to pick up in the grey landscape of your vaccuum days.
On the other hand, think back ... this is a good time to reread You Are What You Are Looking For.
Yes, yes, I know, I keep linking to your past, but the keys you've jangled earlier seem to slip away as new things fill your head. Its only natural when genius overflows.

Visible said...

Hi Nina;

Well that's amusing. I don't remember that at all. It makes it that much weirder to read it (grin).

Rebel 4E said...

I watched the 'news' tonight...oh boy!
New world record for shouting expletives at the idiot box.
Quick! Switch it f*****g off.

Feeling heavy, trudging on......
There's still beauty in this world..?
Moments of quiet desperation, Waiting...Hoping for more moments of Joy.

Respects,

lightandlongshadows said...

Interestingly I'm feeling inspired to have another crack at "climbing the mountain" lately. As the world around gets increasingly "polluted" with so much b.s. I'm feeling the need to turn inward evermore and "clean my own house", or "tend my own garden" etc.
I stumbled upon this video last week that someone may find interesting...
Gnosis - The Secret of Soloman's Temple
http://video.google.ca/videosearch?q=serpent&hl=en&emb=1&aq=f#q=philip+gardiner&hl=en&view=2&emb=1&qvid=philip+gardiner&vid=5284775087325752842
Food for thought.
inside out

Katya said...

I don't know who you are but I have never seen anyone write with your passion and conviction. The words have blood running through their veins and they dance like living things. I just discovered your websites last week and I have been reading steady. You are something from another age I think who has come back for some reason. I have never trembled like this before. You can't be just a human being.

Anonymous said...

He's human alright. It is only that there are not so many of them around.

R.

Waterlily2012 said...

Les, another great blog. You are right! You are not alone in how you are feeling. I am extremely apathetic these days. I don't know if it is because I haven't fixed the hole in the ceiling from storm damage that allowed rain to puddle in one spot in the attic and now I am too numb from the cold coming in, or if this is an extreme spiritual toxin dump and shift. Probably a bit of both. I know I shouldn't keep procrastinating since it is getting into winter, but the stress of having strange people in my house invading my space has been too much to deal with so I have put it on the back-burner and the days just go by.


LTC, your post hit the nail on the head too! I completely get how you are both feeling. I wish this heaviness would lift. It is such a thick fog these days.

Visible said...

This is what I expected. We're all feeling it. My point is that we shouldn't blame ourselves for the difficulty of walking on glue boards and not getting the important work done. This is some kind of added gravity transference station. There will be a problem of equal strength when it lifts but it will be the opposite... heh heh.

Well, I don't know of course but it's the hit I'm getting.

I got tagged good by it today but I seem to have gotten out of it with minimal damage.

Anonymous said...

I have been feeling this heaviness / pressure for close to decade now myself.

It seems as time marches on and I become more aware of what is not visibly apparent, the heavier this heaviness becomes for me.

This last round, which is still happening to me, is going on it's third month and is the heaviest so far for me.

It feels like gravity on my body has doubled or even tripled, and it is a real effort just to do simple things like vacum, laundry, cook dinner.

My enthusiasm for anything is non existent, and mainstream would define this as depression, but I feel no urge to cry or kill myself, and my interest in things still exists, so I know a diagnoisis of depression is wrong.

The funny thing is that this heaviness for me does not extend below the waist.

Most of it seems to be in my spine, neck, shoulder blades, and head, with an emphasis on my spine.

There is no pain.....just pressure.

McKenna Fan said...

The way I figure it...

Fer starters, there`s this bit of edification:
http://www.matrixmasters.net/blogs/?p=297

Just to ff through it and listen to a minute here and a minute there is still amazing.

I mean, I live in Robotville. A theory that I have is- they plan to replace everyone in Tokyo with an exact replica (tip of the hat to an old Steven Wright joke)-- and no one will be able to tell the difference.

I just got off the physicality train, myself. I do not think that "physical proximity" says anything about fate. Which is to say, we think that if there is a nuclear war, and the Earth gets torched, we will get torched along with it. Why?

The Matrix, reality-as-virtual-world concept is what I mean.

"God" can just reroute certain people to different servers, and close off the connection.

No need to think about everything like we`re in the same boat.

"Conspiracy theories" are bunk not because they are true or untrue, in that case.

No need to worry about anything except how you are playing your own game. Right where you are, right now.

I was thinking this heaviness was a bout of Extreme Habit. The pulling back of the slingshot before the Precipitous Novelty gets shot off. As we notice, but just to McKennify the language of our observations.

Not suffering the exact same fate as everyone else would be pretty novel.

This also removes the need that I had to mentally model the whole shebang, as if the worries of the zombies and vampires have to dovetail in some way with my worries.

Having said all of that, I am happy to notice that in more and more places across cyberspace, the clarity of the post-911 narrative is crystallizing.

Another "epistemelogical cartoon", no doubt, but necessary nonetheless.

Keep hammering away at the motherfrakkers, Les.

Anonymous said...

http://www.henrymakow.com/illuminati_use_magick_against.html

Mike in the 517 said...

In times of heaviness, you have to lighten up (Francis), and watch Monty Python, or the Three Stooges.

Or perhaps dark and twisted satire like Dr. Strangelove, or National Lampoon's Vacation, or even Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma.

Even the Marquis de Sade thinks Dick Cheney's a fuckin pervert.

Fletch said...

1 Month now....

no newspaper, no news radio, no MSN websites and no Sugar.

I feel groovy.

Try it out.

Visible said...

There's a new Smoking Mirrors up now-





Your Endangered Mass Media needs Your Help.

Pstonie said...

On the subject of intake, I've stopped drinking coffee and I must say my mood improved noticeably.

Other things to see if you haven't yet:
Revolver (film)
Battlestar Galactica (recent TV series remake)

introspeck said...

"It just doesn't feel all that good because something has gone missing out of the general course of things."

I'm feeling that too. There is nothing wrong in my life on the material plane; loving family and I love what I do at my job. Yet... I do feel like something in the spiritual realm has pulled back and is watching and waiting to see what we all do.

Sage said...

Well written. This article came from a good place. I have been feeling the same way...the heaviness and feelings of hopelessness are almost unbearable these days. Spiritual practices are almost impossible for me now. And I am a determined warrior seeking not heavens but total oneness with God. Moksha. I am tired of the Lila...the Game, the maya and its duality. Your article has me helped considerably. I was beginning to wonder if I were alone in this mire. Thank you fellow pilgrim. I needed this validation.

Sage said...

It is like you wemt into my subtle body and read me....everything you have written about is my reality.I don't feel like meditating or praying any more. I feel so heavy. I am so fed up of the Play (lila) and the dualism....all I seek is liberation from the maya. I have zero interest in this world but like one person noted, I am NOT depressed. Don't feel like suicide or anything. Thank you so much for this posting. You are a pilgrim soul my brother.

Boulderdash said...

I have also had the same experience in my Qigong efforts. My practice of 4-5 years was daily for 2-3 years but for the last year or so I have found it difficult to keep up with it, although I am much better off on all levels when I do practice.

Visible said...

There is a new Reflections in a Petri Dish up-




Tiger, Tiger, Burning Bright and Sporting Wood.

Anonymous said...

This phrase is EXACTLY what's happening:


"Spiritual practices are more difficult to accomplish than they were, which gives me the idea that they might be much more important than they were."



Thank you for expressing what's hapening.

Visible said...

There's a new visible-streams-of-consciousness up-




Rapping E=[Mc]2 Upside Your Head.

Anonymous said...

Les,
Yes I, thanks and praises.
So we all agree on the pressurization. Absence of joy. Heaviness, too much in-your-face blatantness.
If you'll notice, it seems to do a wavy thing as the moon cycles build up to fullness, then we get to catch our breath again for a moment.

Anyway, been wanting to share for a while lyrics from a song my bro Jody Stecher wrote back in 70s (especially the last line of the chorus [grin])-

LEELA

Leela Leela, this world is just a game,
Winners lose and losers win the game is still the same.
Leela, Leela, this life is just a play,
Those who say don’t know and those who know don’t say.

The eyes of the baby behold everything from under,
The eyes of the young man behold his lady’s face with wonder.
The eyes of the old man look upon the flowing river,
What of those whose eyes are one? They leave this (world) forever.

Leela Leela, this world is just a game,
Winners lose and losers win the game is still the same.
Leela, Leela, this life is just a play,
Those who say don’t know and those who know don’t say.

And where is the man who in his heart can really feel it?
Can he feel it in himself and then can he reveal it?
Then let him sit and sing and sail a flowing river,
Snakes and arrows cannot go where sound remains forever.

Oh, Leela Leela, this world is just a game,
God will not forget the one who sings His name.
Leela, Leela, this life is just a play,
Those who say don’t know and those who know don’t say.

How can a man accept life who has not accepted dying?
How can one achieve his purpose without ever trying?
How can a man have courage who cannot as well be tender?
He who wins the game is he who’s learning to surrender.

Oh, Leela Leela, this world is just a game,
Winners lose and losers win the game is still the same.
Leela, Leela, this life is just a play,
Those who say don’t know and those who know don’t say.

And where is the man who in his heart can really feel it?
Can he feel it in himself and then can he reveal it?
Then let him sit and sing and let his heart grow gladder,
Chant to God until the masquerade no longer matters.

Oh, Leela Leela, this world is just a game,
God will not forget the one who sings His name
Leela, Leela, this life is just a play,
Those who say don’t know and those who know don’t say.

Leela Leela, this world is just a game,
Winners lose and losers win the game is still the same.
Leela Leela, this world is just a game,
God will not forget the one who sings His name.

respects,
bholanath

Zoner said...

bholonath, any place to hear that as a complete song?

Nice work either way.

wv; undoes

indeed.

Odin's Raven said...

Regarding the immanence of an Avatar in a Hindu flavour, you may be interested to see that some others may have a compatible but somewhat Anglicised vision:
http://www.wodensfolk.org.uk/avatar.html

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is not depression. I know what that feels like and this ain't it. Just the sense that I don't give a crap about anything material. Not money, not my house, not a job.

I have a sense, too, that something is brewing. Don't know what yet, but it is big, big, big! Really big shift, very, very soon!

Thanks, Les. Your post made me feel alot better.

piet said...

To Drew Hempel and Les Visible:

Always thought the delayed maturation and all means magic and otherwise which contribute to matrifocality, webby weirdness and savantica implied a preference for keeping the body still (check, Drew, but you are an extremist, oraliplock gives bacteria a chance to flourish, i flush with teas. How often do you brush and floss?).

An Asperger/Autist tends to be 'not at home' even if he manages to avoid moving. Paul Laffoley is a pretty extreme case too.

The resistance/projections US occupants (Turtle Island occupiers) put/send up/out when it comes to natives is amazing and offense to me. Turning a indigenous people into aliens (or away from the former in favor of the chimerical/tricksteroid latter rather) like all this talk of data theft (a spate of it hapnin around climate lately, for predictable 'globalshowdown must go off' reasons) is an insult and should not get the impunity pass anymore than gambling with piles of a 'client's debts, causing, toxifying and misplacing dustbatches, etcetera.

Much of the data theft hype is a last ditch attempt to generate anxiety and distract from taboos about to break. A prevention effort serving status quota that polarize classes into hi-rising and outdowning ones.

Aborting comfort potential is a war-industry and an adrenal whipnmilk strategy as pervy as the type life Micky Rourke is reduced to specialing in. Wartoys are childabuse.

As you see, i surely do not fit the HiT Hurt Vet Hobotizen profile so prevalent in the crowd pouring acolades into Les Visible's comment section. Their prolific hero struggles with distaste for conflict yet seems caught in a tangle of routes gone rigid ramifications, like a shadowboxer feinting away (see Bifo, an in NYC much loved italo-anarch).

To train, rail, rudder and plod away soon leaves the trail deeply rutted. Well worn feetvote pathways to freedom (as rightie James Bowery has it) turn to trenches in the blink of a moon (forest service versus those who serve forest = rainbow gatherings come to mind).

ReliRigi Rite Rout
ChurnChugTurns a way past ditty dictate back into the fold on time so i don't bash prevention per se.

But cussing out idiots is a poor subst'ute forr lobbing threats every bit as credible and coercive as their phony rule book dictates. Matching intensity does not mean mating means (that would be, in this case, counterproductively joining proliferation, 'giving' of stimuli to the perditious and diabolic chain of events that lead straight to spikey and pointy ... no .. not minarets, i mean rather, western industrial strength (cough...no i am not cussing, just lamenting their bad name, like dutch media, unneighbourly enough to bad mouth germans every chance they get) missiles. I go for good chompost cain gang measures. Peace in Piet's sin.

Visible said...

I have very little idea of what you are talking about but the tone seems fairly clear. What's a chompost? Does that refer to Chomsky? If so it explains everything else.

Drew Hempel said...

Hotwader burn baby! Hotwader burn baby! Fishstiks on tursday, Fishstiks on tursday! judge wapner, gotta watch judge wapner, cant miss judge wapner. I got to have my toothbrush, cant use your toothbrush. Aww shucks, even if you have a cold still, you can cough on me again, I dont mind, we can hide behind my force field.(works great against home-seeking dissenter destroying fascist-guided missiles!)

Drew Hempel said...

What's the big deal? A few comments here and there and now oh my we've doomed the resistance!!!

Drew Hempel said...

Hey piet-How about trying protein next time for more clarity? Or maybe carbohydrates and some of that free zoloft they're giving out for calmness. Your choice.

piet said...

It aint so tough to fit the Hi-T n Hurt Vet Hobotizen profile so prevalent in the crowd pouring accolades into Les Visible's comment section for me is it? Prolific hero in situ struggles with distaste for conflict yet seems caught in a tangle of routes gone rigid with routine ramifications, like a shadowboxer feinting away (see Bifo, an in NYC much loved italo-anarch), eager for and expectant of realer action.

To train, rail, rudder and plod away soon leaves the trail deeply rutted. Well worn feetvote pathways to freedom (as rightie James Bowery has it) turn to trenches in the blink of a moon (forest service versus those who serve forest = rainbow gatherings come to mind).
It is easy to pretend realer than that, just tender a bit of tenderized time, sprinkle a pinch of pulverized rock in lettershapes the size you can handle and deed your deed to posterity, easier resting easy that way too.

Cussing out idiots is a poor subst'ute for lobbing threats every bit as credible and coercive as their phony rule book dictates. Matching intensity does not mean mating means - that would be a mistake, in this case, counterproductively joining proliferation, 'giving' of stimuli to the perditious and diabolic chains of events that lead straight to spikey and pointy ... no .. not minarets, i mean rather, western industrial strength (cough...no i am not cussing, just lamenting their bad name, like i regret and am ashamed that our 'lib(idrool)rule' dutch media, unneighbourly enough, bad mouth germans every chance they get) missiles. I go for good chompost cain gang measures. Peace in Piet's sin.

piet said...

here's a cleaned up version (that means toots and bells known as grace notes added and new mistakes slipped in as yet not jiggled into sense resemblage

Always thought the delayed maturation and all means magic and otherwise which contribute to matrifocality, webby weirdness and savantica implied a preference for keeping the body still (check, Drew, but you are an extremist, oraliplock gives bacteria a chance to flourish, i flush with teas. How often do you brush and floss?).

An Asperger/Autist tends to be 'not at home' even if he manages to avoid moving. Paul Laffoley is a pretty extreme case too.

The resistance US occupants (Turtle Island occupiers) put up, the projections they send out and so (beam) forth when it comes to natives (part of them simply semitic occupiers since Christ arriving via north Africa (see Cyclone Covey on Alexander) is amazing and offensive to me. Turning an indigenous people into aliens (or away from the former in favor of a turn to the chimerical/tricksteroid latter rather) like all this talk of data theft is too (a spate of it hapnin around climate lately, for predictable off 'globalshowdown must go on' reasons) are insults that should not get the impunity pass anymore than gambles with piles of a 'client's' debts that cause, miscreate, toxify offtarget and thus misplace dustbatches, etcetera, do.

Much of the data theft hype is a last ditch attempt to generate anxiety and distract from taboos about to break. A poleshift reversal for hitherto undislodgable 'fleecage' (squeezing the public and offshore sequesterment of their secretion if not slaughtering privacy altogether) is, if not in the offing an ancient wish for righteousness, encryption as private and and transparancy as public affairs, taxed assets rather than labour will help thousand flours to bloom (though i strain my eyes to spy an uptickdoom ((if i may impose upon you a bit much, 'opdoemen' = loom in dutch)) to no avail so far). Instead, this is what we get just yet, still more prevention efforts that serve status quota that polarize classes into hi-rising and outdowning ones, that sacrifice middle/median (is close to gone so bufferless the fronts are bound to clash) to feed this 'growth', centralization rather, the perrenial monomonstrosity 'fountaition'. GS is betting bullets just in case though, and they have reason to try brace against that not just any but (in fully endorsing name of) all down(trodden)turnout event.

ReliRigi Rite Rout Aims to ChurnChugturn away from a way past ditty dictate back into the unfoldiage of time grown cold in real and on time so i don't bash prevention per se.

Aborting comfort potential however, is a war-industry and an adrenal whipnmilk strategy as pervy as the type life Micky Rourke got reduced to specialing a careerlong time in. Wartoys are childabuse.

Anonymous said...

Ever consider this strong attachment to turtles (turtle island) may be ultimately due to an inherent yet unconsciously manifested knowledge of Kurma, the turtle 2nd Avatar of Vishnu?
I believe some of the natives have related stories, legends, etc.

http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/lotus-sculpture_2081_85328505

Drew Hempel said...

piet-You must be talking to many different people at once.

Pete Gallagher said...

Oh man, where to start... Identification yeah that's the word.. I remember it all too well from my days at AA. So many great comments here echoing the same sentiments, and I feel it way too strongly.

Les, you've hit the nail so hard it's actually brought a tear to my eye. LTC24/7's comments say it all for me. Stay up until early morning, sleep until afternoon, spend most of my waking hours reading alternative media, then shouting at the stupid TV news "WAKE UP YOU DUMBASSES Can't you see through the crap?" Even started a wee blog last week (or the week before) but can't seem to get it off the ground.

Apathy is my middle name. I am happy enough but I have this feeling inside, this nagging feeling that I'm just waiting for something to happen; and I want it to get a bloody move on!

Christmas is coming. Not bothered. Happy Holiday time? Not bothered. Most things seem pointless. I know there is something in the wings, just lurking backstage, and all will be revealed in due course. I feel better for that.

Thanks Les, and all the people who've made comments.

The opening scene in Trainspotting echoes my feelings and I've felt this way for a very long time. I sincerely hope we can cast off all this garbage and start LIVING again.

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.
Choose a f*cking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good
health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your
friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a
three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of f*cking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who the f*ck you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing f*cking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose life.

Pete