Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Namaste Way, Mozart's Grave and the Angels of Mercy.

Dog Poet Transmitting.......

May your noses always be cold and wet but not necessarily your other portions. Six of one, half a dozen of another and Bob's your mother (UK transposition).

Let's shake things up a bit. I think I would like that and I think you will like it. My dick is bigger than Michael Fassbinder's dick, I know this because I saw a film called “Shame” for about 20 minutes before I shut it off, because it was (or seemed to be) pretentious, wanna be cool, bullshit. When I was in prison, I saw dicks bigger than mine and thank God they were not visited upon me, in either Love or Anger. That's not to say that attempts weren't made. Probing, like 'probiert' and sometimes less affectionately. These days, it is only life that wants to rape me and put me through changes. There are situations that I don't trust, simply because I am seriously intuitive and I remember things well and my mind tends to assimilate, conjugate and comparatively analyze data. How I could be wrong is that it might not be individuals messing with me. It could be something else. I'm doing my damnedest to keep it together but sometimes, it's a Promethean struggle. What do you know, Michael Fassbinder was in Prometheus and... I'm watching it right now while I write this. I feel like the real Prometheus a lot of the time, when I'm not feeling like Sisyphus. Does that make me a Sisyphean Promethean?

I try to do good things in my life. More than I like, the best laid plans and the road to Hell, being paved by: surely you know the quote, seems to want to take up residence. I want and think I need certain things in this life. All of us do and sometimes, we will compromise our perceptions and what we like to believe is true about us, in order to get them. I have a difficult time with that on occasion but my reluctance to compromise always wins out. It can make me difficult for people, now and again, but I try to err on the positive side of self righteousness. The greatest love of my life, in romantic terms (not in the deepest and most intense sense but definitely talking in the human demographic; God absolutely being the Love of my life) once told me I was too righteous. Does that mean I am glad that I don't have Michael Fassbinder's dick, or face, or body? No, I'm not envious of anyone. I love you Lord.

The one thing I find the most remarkable about this endeavor is the remarkable people that come around here. Yet they are also the source of a great deal of consternation, difficulty and disappointment. Someone was coming to visit me from the Netherlands. For some reason, inexplicable to me, I misinterpreted when they were coming. I thought they were going to be here on this last Monday. It turned out the were coming on the day I have to go in to get my passport renewed. I very seldom am away from home. Why that day out of all days? When I told them that I had messed up in my calculations, I have not heard back from them. I must have really screwed up. Responses from that quarter have been very rapid. I told them they could meet me in the city I have to travel too, it's on the way here, or they could just show up at the house and I would be back in a few hours. Someone else was going to come and see me yesterday and that didn't happen. I waited all day for it and walked down to the bus stop, a couple of times, thinking maybe he forgot the way to my house. Finally I reach out to him and he tells me he had a crisis and he left a message on my phone answering system earlier that morning. I don't have a phone answering system. I feel like I am being gas-lighted but what if I'm wrong. What if there is a perfectly good explanation for all of this?

This great love of mine, Svargo Bernard, or Dr. Svargo as these wealthy Tribe members, who weren't very nice to me, when I needed them to be, called her, once called me on something where I was absolutely sure I was right. I said, “No, that can't be”. I was certain I was right, there was no way I could have gotten it wrong. As it so happened, I was wrong. That truly stunned me. What is more interesting is that it happened 2 more times in a six weeks period. I'd not had something like that happen to me before with such recurrence and intensity. It hasn't happened since either. This was to let me know that I don't know. I profoundly know that I don't know.

My intuition, given that I am the one who experiences it, is profoundly accurate 99% of the time. I knew the day before that this fellow was not coming. I have experiences like this every day. There is something I discovered about 4 years ago that helps me in a miraculous fashion, to treat a condition I suffer from. When you get the living shit beaten out of you as a child, it messes up your Serotonin flow. Years ago, in my descent into the pit AND while I was with this love of my life- who was sent as an angel of mercy to nurse me through it- I had a bad romance with alcohol. I now know that this was my way of self medicating my depression. They discovered some years back that the reason so many house painters were alcoholics, was because of the lead in the paint. There's always a reason for shit, like why so many chefs and cooks were alcoholics. I've had both those occupations, as a large part of my being employed at whatever in order to finance my frustrating efforts to have a career as a singer songwriter and writer.

When I discovered what was behind my self medication, I was able to arrest it but it lingers there, around the corner and sometimes it will erupt for a few days, here and there. As you probably suspect, my life is not an easy one. I've come to think that all of my efforts are pointless at this point and I am giving serious consideration to going on a, more or less, permanent hunger strike, putting the divine on notice that I am just going to shit-can the whole experience and find some new routing. I'm going to activate Mr. Visible's internal GPS, typing in Shambala. Since I know, for a fact that it exists, I know, being possessed of that fact, that I am allowed to go there and I got invited anyway. Lost Horizons has always been on the menu.

I mentioned once that when I was a baby in Japan, about a year, maybe two years old, maybe even less but certainly not more, I was laying in my bed one day when I heard this chanting. I was on my back and looking around and not seeing anything, when finally I studied the rafters in the ceiling and I saw two rows of monks in brown robes, on opposing rafters. They were nodding their heads up and down. They had their hands together in from of them, in that Namaste way. Their heads were going up and down. They were about 8 to 12 inches tall. I remembered this years later. Another time, I was laying on my stomach and pulling on the sheet and a horrible face appeared as a result of folds in the fabric. I cried out in fear. One time, I was about 2 years old and my father was routinely beating me. That had started even earlier. I remember that I was angry with him. It's interesting that I could be angry at that early age. I had shit in my diaper and that was a no no since I was able to walk. So I reached into my diaper and I painted the wall behind my crib. I painted my masterpiece. Of course, my father came into the room and discovered Picasso/Visible's first efforts at art. I remember I had been laughing earlier and really feeling good about what I was doing. Of course, father beat the shit out of me. To give an example of just how screwed up he was. He came into our bedroom. We had double bunk beds and I slept on the top bunk. He came in drunk and pulled me out of the bed right on to the floor, kicking me and screaming at all of us to get outside and get the groceries out of the car.

Here's another incident. There were so many of them. I was a baseball pitcher and I was very good. I was in 9th grade and the coach at the school wanted me to work out with the high school varsity team over the summer, as a prelude to my matriculating to this Triple A high school the next year. I told my father about it and he said I couldn't go. I had to work in the commissary all summer, to earn the money to buy my school clothes for the next year. About a week before school, my father took the money, 150 dollars and used it to pay a gambling debt. That was the end of that.

Years later, while riding from L.A. To Palm Springs, in an acid state of mind but not necessarily on it (I was often in this state because of the Kundalini Uprising), I saw a lot of the same faces, like the one that appeared in my sheet in the brown hills off to my right. I knew instinctively that they were the faces of Tribe comedians, that had been active in that century; whatever any of that means, I don't know, ♫connection, I just can't get no connection and all I want to do, is to get back to you♫

I try so damned hard, every single day and it often seems that I shouldn't do it anymore, that I should just give up. I can't communicate the degree of intensity that is behind this methodology of living. It's with me nearly every minute of the day and I don't know what I'm doing either. I can't explain myself to myself. I do a better job of explaining myself to others and still don't get it when I do.

I don't want to be suspicious or angry at people. I certainly don't want to be angry at God. In the last several years, the pounding I have been getting has gone nova and I know pounding. I've had what seemed to me to be, truly important relationships, go down the tubes because of things that, no matter how you slice it, have to be the result of of infernal, cosmic interference. Am I going to be buried in Mozart's grave, or run into Bishop Pike? I'm not comparing myself to Mozart. Mozart's Grave is a pun of mine, maybe you can figure it out.

I try to control the things I say to people because you can't take back your words, no more than you will ever get a second chance to make a first impression. I like to leave good footprints, that's my motto. I don't always accomplish this. Stepping on my dick, or stepping on Michael Fassbinder's dick, is something I have raised to an artform, because I don't achieve it on my own. It comes with the territory and no matter how hard I try, I remain In-Country. I guess part of the problem, is that I want things. I want to play at Glastonbury. I want to have good and enduring friends. My intentions are good and genuine. All I want is to succeed enough to be able to buy some property, with a large rambling house, barns for converting and land for really cool things, where I want to invite the reader, to come and embark on a fantastic voyage. The ideas I have, have been cultivated over decades and I know some incredible people. The results would be incredible. It would be epic. This I do know. I keep thinking that someone will pass away and leave me their estate, or someone would come out of the blue and say, “Let's getter done”. I've thought a lot of things would happen. Some of them have and some haven't. I can literally taste this one and I've been told it's going to happen. When I get told things like this, in this fashion, they happen, like when I suddenly knew I was going to Europe and was announcing it on stage for several months previous. A woman appeared on the street, while I was unloading my quipment (grin) into the gig location and I saw her from 200 meters away and I said, “I hope she comes in here and that very moment she crossed the street and she did walk right in. She was even from the country I was considering going to. I've been with her for 13 years now, come this October 1st. She has been, yet one more angel of mercy.

If I've offended any of you, I am sincerely sorry. I didn't mean to, except when I flat out intend it, but that's another thing. I try to fix things and when I am sorry, I am sincerely sorry. Some relationships stay intact, only because I make them do so. When I stop communicating, they are no longer. People change. Some people are not so committed as me. I value loyalty and personal integrity above most things. Oh I like all the good qualities. I wish I had more of them. Valuing these qualities means that treachery, betrayal and slander are paramount dislikes. I've run into them and the most intense difficulties of my life have come about because of them. I've been accused of things I never did, for no other reason than malice incomprehensible and often from people I helped out and beyond the call to be sure. Things like this cut like a knife but... I've forgiven, if not forgotten.

Man, I wish I was a better person. I wish I didn't have to go through the things I go through. I guess it just keeps happening until it doesn't happen anymore. I was told it was going to end and that 'off the charts' good things were going to happen to and for me. I'm scanning the horizon looking for my ships. I do not see my ships but I know they are out there somewhere. Maybe they are inside me and perhaps I should look there.

You can't control the wind but... you can adjust your sails.


End Transmission.......

Visible sings: It Always Breaks Your Heart by Les Visible♫ It Always Breaks Your Heart ♫
Lyrics (pops up)

71 comments:

Anonymous said...

you know Richard Bach hit some power lines...

so you know you're not all alone...

you know, in "recovery"...

this too shall pass,

one more time for the children in the hospital...

Respects neil,,,

"The paradox concerning the nature of objective reality is by design and degree instinctual."
{I built that}

you're one of the very few on this rotating rock who verbalizes how I feel on a regular basis... sometimes it's actually so synchronous it's eerie, even.

http://www.good-music-guide.com/reviews/055lyrics.htm

don't give up, just surrender

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHC-85nLbkA

hang in there Bro.

many depend on your strength of character and don't really care about your penis.

smoke 'em if you've got 'em...

courage

Davy


finding that oven feeling...thanks to Imadinnerjacket

Anonymous said...

Truly one of your best. It resounds so much, it hurts. Hang tough brother, the Great Creator is coming.

Pickdog

Mouser said...

It is an honour to serve on this battlefield of truth with you - nomatter the outcome.

Visible said...

If you're wondering what happened to some of your comments, especially you Pierre and Zephyr it is because the were in the spam folder. They're up now.

Visible said...

The penis reference was inserted to add some levity to a post that might otherwise have been heavier than I would have wished. It was also an attempt at contrast an wasn't meant to be taken literally as any kind of a concern of mine. Sometimes these kinds of things can be effective, other times they just come across as odd (grin). Hopefully it is the former in this case and hopefully I didn't piss off or offend anyone. I seem to be pretty good at that lately.

Cap'n Spadgett said...

"Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies".

Erich Fromm

Anonymous said...

Alcohol and drugs, I can sympathize with you, but it might cheer you to know you're in good company...Beethoven, Mozart, Dostoevsky, Huxley, Coleridge, Dickens, Gauguin, Hemingway, O'Neil, Faulkner, Steinbeck, Chandler, Vonnegut, Stephen King,and that's just the short list. I like what Johnny Depp, fellow alkie, had to say about it "We need to escape from our brains" - Karen T

Anonymous said...

Hey Davy,I don't really care about my small penis,or that I'm seriously ugly,it did bother me when I was young,,,,but don't bother me so much now,,,
Would of been nice to experience the love of a woman in this lifetime,more for companionship than anything else really..
But that's something I suppose I will miss out this time round.....

Lord vis,,,,you think what I said about psychic vampirism was against you,,,,no no no never
It's more about the people in my local area,,,I think most of them are unaware of it,all victims of it themselves,,
Most acting out of their restrained vibration,completely unaware of the undertone of themselves each smashing the atmosphere of the patterns taking shape in their own heart and mind ,,,,
I seem to experience this nearly everyday,,,,that hurts,,,,
I can hold my anger but sometimes not.....

Respects neil


Anonymous said...

Right to the marrow!Please "keep on keeping on".

Bryan

Anonymous said...

"Insane"

(A musical parody, based on the song, "Sweet Jane", by Lou Reed.)

Standing on the corner
Zombies all around
Jack is on his cell phone, and Jane's groovin' to her tunes
And, me, I'm like a cat in a dog pound - Huh!

Ridin' on the bus today, Jim
I saw them, hypnotized
Oh, all the zombies, smiling and acting warm
And me, I just rolled my freakin' eyes...

Insane...whoa
Insane...oh-oh-ah
Insane...

I'll tell you something now...Jack, he is a psychopath
And Jane's a heartless cunt
But they are just "the new norm" now - Yeah!
And when, when they come home they grunt

Ooh! Sittin' down by the TV - Oh!
Those poisoned pictures fly
They get that image sickness
"Dancing With the Stars" is on - Huh!
(All you awake kids)
You can hear me freakin' say, get ready, ah...

Insane...whoa
Insane...oh-oh-ah
Insane...

Some zombies, they like to go out shopping
And other zombies, they spout cliches (Just watch me now!)
And there's even some evil mothers, yeah
Well they're gonna tell you that life's about getting laid
Y'know those, "women", they have no empathy
And those "men" spout reptile lies
And, y'know, the zombie children scheme shit, too
- But they all want us to die

And, everyone who ever had a heart, oh
They would turn around and break it
And anyone who ever played a part, whoa
They would turn around and hate it

Insane...whoa
Insane...oh-oh-ah
Insane...
Insane...insane...insane...insane...

Anonymous said...

Since I could have been the one writing this post (for the most part), I will pass on the sage advise I always get.

Your problems are your own fault. If you would just be a better person/ trust God more/ love more fully/ basically quit being a f-up, then things would be better. Since, however, they are not better, you are obviously not too good either.

I have no idea how any of this advise helps, but since I keep continually getting it, I thought I'd pass it along. Maybe you can make some good use of it.

In short, if I can't quit, neither can you. I will swim/walk to Europe and kick you square in the ass. (Please be patient, I'm too poor to fly.)

Good luck (you'll probably need it),
-Andy M.

P.S. The rest of you please spare me the new age love and light crap. It's great that it makes you feel better, but it is rather shallow and ineffective.

Anonymous said...


what a world

the more we believe in it the more it hurts us

journey lied -- DO stop believing

empty out

observe

expect nothing

want nothing

and that's when something happens. looking for it only blinds you.

Visible said...

Gee Andy, that wasn't a very nice comment. I should add that the advice was quite shallow too and not relevant. I think you completely misread what I was trying to say. I don't understand why some people try to hurt me now and again but it happens. It's a good thing I'm not all that vulnerable. I don't know quite what to say to you so I won't say anything further.

Anonymous said...

We're born alone,
We die alone.
Shit happens in-between
Sometimes good
A lot of the time bad.
Did you enjoy Prometheus?
Sometimes I feel like the Space-Jockey Micheal Fassbender wakes up at the end of the film.
Seriously pissed off and ready to kick some major ass.
Hang in there Vis
Keep on truckin'
love ya

UselessEater U.K

Anonymous said...

Andy m,, we become better persons by smashing down the system not pretending that everything is ok and trying to live with it,...
That does nothing other than prolong the agony
And turns us against ourselves

Respects neil

Anonymous said...

via Homer..

Our animal friends have a way of lapping up our pain and begging for more.

Not that they're masochists, they're too cute for that. Instead, they offer big medicine.

In ten minutes I'll be on my way to get my milk and visit the cows. A new calf will be here any day now!

I'll sing them a little song or two.
They love that!

They're the best looking crowd for miles around!

Peter said...

You may not want to post this comment Viz.
It will surely rock the boat.
Your mention of the Prometheus movie and this Fassbender dude, prompts this highly abrasive comment.
The director's brother recently committed suicide by jumping off a bridge in LA last monthm.... hmmmm.
The Prometheus flick has, as a major character, a robot with a distinctly queer temperament. The "bot" seemingly, had a hard arm for Peter O'Toole. But I digress.
The "bot", as the main character in the film, is shown in one scene, slipping a mickie to the Fassbender character. This mickie was high tech all the way baby. In the slipped substance, is an alien life form which will eventually kill the Fassbender character. Ouch!! remember the Alien movie Prometheus being the prequel) with the alien parasite exploding outta the John Heard character. Phew, nasty way to die, huh?
Anyway, where am I going with this? You have a gay robot tampering with someone's food and drink ....hmm, anything like that goin' on today?
I'll leave that up to you gentle readers.
ciao ciao

Visible said...

I thought Prometheus was a fantastic movie but then, I'm a Ridley Scott fan and a Guy Pearce fan.

Ray B. said...

Ah, Vis; my heart goes out to you.

What helps me when I get in mental/emotional/physical states like you describe:

There was a section in, I believe, the Mahabharata, where Krishna was taking down his enemies. One enemy had a magical shield and was thus invulnerable. Krishna proceeded to poison/destroy anyone/anything important to this being. The being got so sad and despondent that he decided life wasn't worth living. So, he dropped his shield and let himself be killed by arrows.

(Eastern literature experts: Be kind. I read this over thirty years ago, and my memory might have screwed up some details.)

I think of this passage every time that I feel overwhelmed and tempted to give up. It is a great cautionary tale for me. I really don't know why; I felt it was truly important when I first read it.

Find a way to not drop your shield. (You are greatly loved...)

Best Wishes,
Ray B.

Anonymous said...

Fassbender plays the part of the slightly camp nazi-like android 'David'.
He puts a tiny amount of the black alien goo into Hollaway's drink I believe to confirm his suspicions about the black goo's gene altering properties.
Holloway was acting like a major dick towards David throughout the film so I suppose he deserved it (grin).
If there is any propaganda in the film it doesn't work on me, i'm immune.
I did watch an interesting doc on the internet the other day concerning chem-trails.
Some lady was giving a talk and she reckons t.p.t.b are spraying us with nano-particles (morgellons etc) that they are eventually going to activate and turn us all into a new Borg-like slave species. (0__o)
Hmmmm! maybe shes onto something, who tha fuck knows? lol!

I loved Prometheus.
The only problem I had was that I immediately wanted to see a sequel as soon as the film finished.

Ridley Scott was born in my home town.

Peace,

Resistance Is Futile!

UselessEater U.K


katz said...

neil, you are so handsome and kind-hearted that I find it hard to believe that you have not found the perfect lady. please don't put yourself down, bc that is a lie.

I know bc I've been reading your posts for a long time. you have a heart bigger than Texas. that makes you one of the most attractive men in the world....and one of the most interesting.

I'm not working you, here. I'm simply stating facts that you should already know.

Visible said...

You know, you guys are great, without you I would be nothing and all the horror show of my life up to this point would have just been some TV series that never made it out of the cutting room and it is a cutting room. I do try my hardest every day and I get paid in hard coin but... it won't always be like this. One day we will steal those horses. One day we will realize that "the juice was worth the squeeze". One fine day we will dance on the mountain tops of the world for the sheer joy of celebrating our creator. It won't always be like this. It won't.

This is an excellent journey my friends, you and I, arm in arm, virtual as it may be... brothers and sisters in arms; cue Dire Straits.

Sometimes it has been so dark, you can't imagine, but maybe you can. I have never stopped believing in the light, even when I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. Once in my time of darkness, (which time is that, Visible?) I used to have to walk 3 miles up a broken road to a place of ruins that was one of the oldest homesteads in New York. Sometimes I couldn't see at all and had to carefully put one foot in front of the other. It was owned by one of the biggest drug dealers in the area but this was the best I ever got out of him. A temporary lesbian came and spent a lost weekend with me up there. There were bears and wild turkeys and all sorts of wild life. I was falling down sideways but I stayed on my feet. I held my mud.

It's a sad thing to say that these years in Europe have actually been the best part of my life. I just take it one moment at a time. I feel good right now but it's probably because of you.

Visible said...

Geez Neil, is there a lawyer in your future (grin)?

I think today's song is one of my best. I'd be interested in hearing what the reader thinks.

Anonymous said...

My life has been alot like yours.I see persons with such great potential...crippled by the things you mentioned..snuffed out before they ever got started.We came into a paradice ruled by Evil.It knew we were coming and arranged a welcoming of sorts.What a brave man you are.Do not give up..we are almost there my friend.

missingarib said...

vis,be steadfast-these words say it much better than my poor intellect is capable of -it is spoken today to those who's labor of the heart is pure--

Dire Straits

Through these fields of destruction
Baptisms of fire
I've witnessed all your suffering
As the battle raged higher
And though they did hurt me so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me
My brothers in arms

There's so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

Now the sun's gone to hell
And the moon's riding high
Let me bid you farewell
Every man has to die
But it's written in the starlight
And every line on your palm
We're fools to make war
On our brothers in arms

stay strong-live long

bholanath said...

Song is over-the-top beautiful. Great lyrics, performed with real feeling and authenticity. You deserve the very best studio back-up band and engineering, but it's also splendid as is.
onelove

Anonymous said...

so happens ... top of my bucket travel list came up only yesterday, for the first time in aeons.

my newest favorite bartendress, i'm thinking now. maybe we could share 'baggage'.

via more recent reference to the perennial lost and found - www.atlantis.com ...

Anonymous said...

LV, you are a good person. Your father was a piece of shit and to your credit you have fought the demons he implanted. The USMC was full of these types: angry, violent young men, the products of abusing homes, asshole prick fathers. The war industry loves these kids. I couldn't wait to get out. It was like the Star Wars café and everyone was toting a machine gun and drinking after shave.

You rose above your programming. Your GPS was scrambled, incorrectably scrambled like mine by a demented childhood guide. You never gave in. You were wise to leave this credit rated asylum called the United States, because it is going to blow, my friend. There are too many aspartame rats and their GPS is Fox News and Jerseylicious.

You will get your land, my friend. You will have your refuge.

Hang tough, carry on. We are with you.

Dave

Visible said...

Do you see the beauty of these comments? I'm not worried or concerned. I'm playing our song. Our song is one of fire and ice. It is wrought in the crucible of pain for the purpose of demonstration. We are what we are because of the love and mercy of God and each other. I would have never been anything without you. I knew you were out there and all i had to do was never give up till I found you. I am coming to UK in a month or so and I know there are many of you who would like to get together. I will be in Glastonbury so let us look forward. There is nothing behind that. I will burn that bridge when I get to it.

Sometimes my posts are not what they appear to be about. They are about what we are and what we have passed through and believe me, we have passed through.

Thank you Bholanath, I think that is a good tune too. I was stunned when it passed through me and Missinggarb, you understand me all too well. You nailed it on every level.

If I didn't mention you believe me, I see you as liquid living pearls around the neck of an unspeakable God.

Anonymous said...

"when you have no choice but to pay a percentage of your earnings as interest to the bankers whether in private debt or taxes to cover the gargantuan debts by the US Government itself, you are a slave to the bankers. And because more money is owed to the bankers than actually exists, because of the interest charged on the loan that created the money, the debt-slavery is permanent! No matter how hard you work, no matter how much you sacrifice, the debt can never be paid off. The system is intentionally designed to trap the nation's population permantly in unpayable debt, to make them slaves to that debt and to the bankers. This is the purpose behind the design of the Federal Reserve, the International Monitary Fund, the European Central Bank, and indeed every private central bank issuing the public currency as a loan at interest. This is why today every nation is drowning in created debt, and slaved to the private bankers."

the gardener said...

Midway through reading you and feeling your pain as I have it too...the most loving boy cat that could be came in with a muffled meow meaning he had a bird in his mouth.

The plants I've left growing without mowing have all gone to seed. The small seed eaters have been in total heaven harvesting their fill.

This tiny yellow one with speckles on its chest-eyes part open, blood upon its breast-body still warm but spirit gone... taking it back outside to the warm sunny day. Placing its little body inside a bush so its family could know where it went.

The most loving little boy cat in the world is now napping on a chair. Mr 'just can't give or get enough love' is resting after his blood spilling.

I have dropped my shield many times from exhaustion and grief. Been encouraged to 'just move on' by those whose advice I have never trusted.

Picked up my shield and my dagger too... after dropping them by my side to rest. Pray. rest. Pray.

Darkest time is always right before dawn. When at my weakest and most down... help and strength has come to me right when I've needed it the most.

I've been having the most outrageous dreams lately... betterN any conceivable tv.

the gardener

Anonymous said...

"Psychopaths"

(A musical parody, based on the song, "Honesty", by Billy Joel.)

If you search for murderers
They are not hard to find
The talking heads will justify their kills

But if you look for truthfulness
You might as well be blind
Those talking heads tell lies - and always will

Psychopaths - it's such a scary word
Pajama people have no clue
Psychopaths - control the sleeping herd
They steal your soul and mindfuck you

They can always find someone
They want to euthanize
Just by walking down most any street

Their cops and doctors kill their share
Their drones fill up our skies
They just want to make us all dead meat

Psychopaths - it's such a scary word
Pajama people have no clue
Psychopaths - control the dumbed-down herd
They steal your soul and mindfuck you

I can find a reptile
I can find a ghoul
- I think I'll have "The Henry Lee"
No, make it "The Ottis Toole"

Anyone can dine on me
With promises again
I know, I know

When they're deep inside of you
Don't be too concerned
They won't ask for nothin' when you're gone

But when you want security
There's nowhere else to turn
'Cause they're the ones that you depend upon

Psychopaths - it's such a scary word
Pajama people have no clue
Psychopaths - control the dumbed-down herd
They steal your soul and mindfuck you

Anonymous said...

Thank you Katz,,,I'm blushing,,,,
But being half wild,,, still howling at the moon and stuff,sitting up trees eating grass and berrys and other things Im probably not lawyer husband material,,,, I could live up a tree in your garden or the whole gang could go and live up a tree in India somewhere though
Katz I love you

Lord vis,,nice easy relaxing sober truths,,good good atmosphere,,,,,,thumbs up and love

Don't worry I'm fine people,,,got big big energy love things mixed with fire, deep truths and the wildness of the earth
Strolling through me most of the time,,,
So psychic vampires from where I live don't really effect me,,,,

Respects neil

Anonymous said...

I would love to come and howl in the interval of one of your songs whilst your over here,,,,

Can I invite the Dagar brothers with their Rudra veena

Respects neil : )

Clarity said...

Visible, I am so happy to hear the change in you from this morning's message to your 8:16 comment. I'm not sure where I would be on this journey without having had you and the others here to keep me company on my travels. I mean that in a big way, too. Much bigger than you know. Or maybe you do know. ;) I'm still looking forward to that meeting in the cafe that you spoke of, and don't think I will forget it!

The song - beautiful, and appropriate. I can tell that a lot of thought goes into choosing songs that match your messages. This one definitely gets two thumbs up.

Six of one, half a dozen of another = synchronicity alert. Woof!

Neil - I hate to do this, but I told you so. Ha! I just saw that comment, and... well, it's nice to be right once in a while. ;)

mike m - still waiting!! clarityATlesvisible.net
*Change the AT to @ when you type it.

Love and peace,
~Clarity

Anonymous said...

Lord vis,,,just down the road from Glastonbury is a place called the new forest,,,,this place is beautiful,,worth seeing,,,,,,This place is one of the only places where the wild thorses there,, have right of way over traffic,,,,,

Thought I would add that interesting fact,,,,,,

Respect neil

Anonymous said...

This post spoke volumes to me I am very sorry for what you had to endure. Just know that you are not alone and you are so very much loved by us all.

My childhood was pretty sad, though most of the abuse I suffered was verbal and emotional. Nonetheless, it takes it's toll and the bad memories and resulting depression are always there or just waiting to pounce. Also, these last few years have been a literal hell for me too and alcohol did play a small part, albeit briefly, thank God. I believe the cause of this hell might be part and parcel of waking up to reality and refusing to play the game, but who knows. What I do know is that it feels as though things are finally coming to a head because they cannot continue this way any longer. Yesterday's UN speeches by Obama and Imadinnerjacket felt ominous and WWIII probably already started for all we know because nobody gives a shit anymore about Obamney or Israhell and the epic, deadly flooding occuring in SE Asia can only be hidden for so long.
And, lets face it; there are NO JOBS left (when I say job, I mean something that pays well, has meaning and offers benefits), food prices are off the hook and most people are not buying clothes, shoes, electronics, cars, eating out, taking vacations, etc. Basically, life fuckin' sucks, so somethings gotta give and any day now at that.

As the saying goes: 'don't quit before the miracle happens'. I know it sounds so corny and contrite and that the waiting is unbelievably slooowwww, but we are so very close.

I know this because God told me so and I never listen to God, but lately shits gotten so bad in my life that I have nothing else left to lose or to do for that matter ;)

So I cleave to Him and believe like never before. Oh and I read your blog posts because you are pretty much the only real truthful voice left in the wilderness as almost everyone else out there has 'fallen on their sword' and can't be trusted.


Keep your spirits up,

Ellie Bellie

Murphy151 said...

Hi Les,

This sums up how I feel right now;

"I try so damned hard, every single day and it often seems that I shouldn’t do it anymore, that I should just give up. I can’t communicate the degree of intensity that is behind this methodology of living. It’s with me nearly every minute of the day and I don’t know what I’m doing either. I can’t explain myself to myself. I do a better job of explaining myself to others and still don’t get it when I do."

I know it is a privilege to be here, right here, right now. I just wish I could remember why?

Perhaps, this is just a veil, something to pass through at the right time but it is confusing and difficult. My faith is unshaken but my...patience (not sure if that is even the right word) is wearing thin. I hate this kali yuga and everything it stands for. I want it to end now.

I requested and was granted a promise many years ago. I believe with all my heart that promise will be fulfilled so I know I ma here for the long haul but it is a tough thing to endure when one is aware of what awaits us eventually.

If each of us realised the power to wipe away every tear, every injustice, who among us would refuse?

Keep the faith, your writing helps us keep ours.

Namaste, peace, truth, justice to you and all.

Jim

Visible said...

You can invite anyone, any time. As you must obviously know, I obviously give a shit. Let's get with the program and make this community happen. We need to do this and we will.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QzDWIOUnM0

And I will stroll the merry way
And jump the hedges first
And I will drink the clear
Clean water for to quench my thirst
And I shall watch the ferry-boats
And they'll get high
On a bluer ocean
Against tomorrows sky
And I will never grow so old again
And I will walk and talk
In gardens all wet with rain....

Anonymous said...

Hi Vis,
I've been reading you for quite some time - and have never posted - so I want to say thanks! I appreciate your POV - it truly does help to know there are others frequenting the world of "WTF!!!!" as often as I am - unfortunately, I can't seem to locate the Exit door anymore?!?
By the way, I think that Andy M was being facetious? That's the way I read it anyway!
Good luck along the way - I hope our paths cross some day - thanks for sharing yourself!
Rainwoman

Anonymous said...

Well I dont really know the Dagar brothers,, they would have to come from india aswell,,,,
But will ask them though,,,,

Anyway may a real living community and harmony come each of our way,,,,,

Respect neil

preacher said...

I experience these days, that it is more difficult for me to walk the namaste way, because a lot of people have grown really long toes and miscommunication floods the airwaves.
Let alone the confusion that's pandemic...
So I just hang in there and make the most of it; just trying not to make a fool of myself too much and praying on bended knees for understanding.

preacher said...

U.S. deaths in drone strike due to miscommunication, report says

"The Pentagon says Marines in Afghanistan and the crew controlling the drone in Nevada were unaware analysts watching the firefight via live video in Indiana had doubts about the targets' identity."

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/oct/14/world/la-fg-pentagon-drone-20111014

Anonymous said...

I read this post early this morning and have been thinking about it off and on all day. It breaks my heart to hear how some children suffer at the hands of their parents as you did, Vis. And then, if we live long enough, to be witness to the pain and suffering of old age, sickness and death. No wonder this is called the Age of Endurance. I think the yogis are the ones who have the answer....renunciation of this life and all its sorrows and instead focussing on the practice of inner spiritual growth. So easy to say, so difficult to do!
In any case, hang in there, Vis. I was really quite alarmed that you may be planning to check out of this realm of existence and that would be an unbearable loss for so many of us who come here to meet with your mind and to share your life. We are so grateful for this forum as I'm sure you can tell by the comments today.
Love, Kilaya

Anonymous said...

pierre said...
SPAMMED SPAMMED SPAMMED. I'll take that as a minor scout merit badge.

This post I take as a purification process for yourself. as to what other's might think about your being only human on the inside, you have nothing to apologise for in the scheme of things. dont let it go pussy or unduly/distractingly sentimental there's even baby zombies to slay when the time comes, and it's up to the Lord to do the judging anyhow, as none of us have all the information.

I had meant to withdraw my "best SF in years" promo of Prometheous as inceasingly I am only watching these things to interpret what THEY are telling and not telling us. It's as if they are compelled to reveal all, for ego or for catharsis (so they can say " I told you so you silly goy"). The time for "hints" is over, I want Henry Ford type investigations and exposes.

but I lie, and watch to tube for an hour or two a day for entertainment.
German version of The Road, called .
Hell

FWIW - I'd offer you a ticket to these antipodes for a holiday and perusal (for the purpose), but I have not the means. and I dont like or trust myself that much either, which is probably how I've got to feel so fuckin good way on down, where it will count when things are hardest, which probably wont be long, which brings us to penises and all men shall have two and one to choose, for which purpose he shall decide. (I was saving that up for Richard aka Dave). sorting the beaten out from the chaffed?
♫That's Entertainment♫
no wonder we are all so fucked up, apart from the real kernels (finger lickin' good).

Laura said...

I am honored to be seen as one of the liquid living pearls around the neck of an unspeakable God ~ beautifully expressed. We are walking fire, tempering and burnishing ourselves, and at the same time we are these glorious fountains of cool loving water, flowing from our hearts from the well-spring of God. Being born anew of fire and of water.

I have felt like quitting, feeling enough is enough, and then waking to a new day, continuing to put one foot in front of the other...would that be called the divine shuffle....:-) .

The higher we go, the lower we go as well ~ you have truly experienced this, dear Visible. I feel the quicker we can shift out of a low reflects progress within. You are the resident renegade, telling it like it is, out there and within you as well.

I can't imagine you truly quitting, though it feels damn good to be able to say it at times. You and God are deeply vested in each other in all kinds of ways.

I know the stumbling along in the false dark will give way to the true light......how can it be otherwise when we carry the light within.

Laura

Laura said...

P.S. I find it kind of interesting that you mention Lost Horizons being that I saw that movie for the first time about three weeks ago....:-)

Laura

Anonymous said...

via kathy
Vis- thank you for sharing your experiences for our benefit. I've never been abused by any person, my parents were as loving and caring as any anywhere, but I have always felt thwarted at every turn by events and timing and whatever it is. It is numbing over time. All I wish for anymore is for it all to be over.

Anonymous said...

i had a sense today that your dark moods and suffering are for us to see...to witness. and in turn, to see our own selves from a compassionate point of view because we understand what you are feeling and want to reassure and support -- but too often condemn our own dark moods and needs and human-ness.

thank you
thank you
thank you

for bearing the pain so we may witness and offer our love in return for all you give to us

liz in l.a.

tuba4 said...

These words have total resonance with me on an antediluvian scale.
I was whistling the tune and riffing on the melody of your words in this essay.
Was Mozart really buried in a pauper's grave?
Maybe James Pike was hoisted on his own petard when he went to the other side!
Better to keep your petard out of sight, and not use it for comparison purposes anymore.

This is the density of free will and I can only advise.
The decision is yours and yours only.
There is no judgment, only choices and consequences.
From each consequence, good or bad, there is something new to learn.
And learning is what it’s all about.

Please remember “All reality is a myth. Myth becomes ever nearer to reality.”
- “The Buddha”

Namaste.

BTW -- Steely Dan's ♫What A Shame About Me♫ came on the stereo just as I started reading.
http://tinyurl.com/bqsy4s3 -- lyrics
http://tinyurl.com/bp9a7cr -- video

Anonymous said...

Been reading your thoughts awhile, resonance. Dreamed, created, inspired all things visible begin as a thought. Then, my father said, "why not?" to which I replied, "let there by farm, let there be ranch, let there be Life." Ask and you shall receive-and you shall receive. Behold your future awaits, paid in the coin of the realm.
blessings friend

Anonymous said...

pierre said...

oops I meant Richard aka Dick, not Dave.

I bet the embarrasing incriminatiing posts get through, knowing how they operate.

david griffith said...

beautiful song on the first hearing and quite lovely to play along with for another couple of rounds.

great lyrical flow and enjoyed the vocal splash around "angel hands".

didn't know you played piano and who knows - perhaps it's time to dust off your guitar ..... I could only play along because I've been learning my scales for the last year or two and - boy - does it open a new world.... where words don't matter and notes are the thing.

anyway - for what it's worth - I reckon you might have a future in music and writing :)

katz said...

neil, I just had to say that. hope it didn't embarrass you.

les visible, you too. we are all in this boat, together. we are too stubborn to give up.

it will get better. I'm psychic, you can count on this truth.

it's time to reset, and start again.

marilyn said...

ah les,
beautiful song. you have many.
i found this years ago and it has always stuck in my mind.
Miracles happen..the impossible takes a little longer.
tears are making trails down my cheeks. if only i could take humanity into my arms and fill them with good love.
love to you all.
marilyn

Kevenj said...

I'll help you getter done..soon. Be patient. I, too have seen this movie.

Lee said...

Les Visible,

And here all this time I thought you were this guy that was out there with this secretive exalted knowledge. But,You are just a schmuck like me. Very comforting,really.

The synchronicity is at work again because recently,I was recalling my childhood and trying to figure out what went wrong in my life. In comparison to your, my life was paradise.

Like wise,I do recall seeing some very strange things like ball lightning while nobody else noticed.

I am sorry to hear that you suffered like you did. I wish I had a magic wand to make it go away. But, you could not be the person you are now.

Thank you for being Yourself.

Lee

Parzival said...

It just keeps happening until you've learned your forgiveness lesson. It's all a forgiveness lesson, and afterward, you break the cycle of life and death and there is no more reincarnation...Only Oneness with that which you Love more than anything...God. The nice thing is, those who matter most in your life/lives will be there when you awaken!

Visible said...

Yes, I think Andy was being facetious too but it was kinda strong and his moment collided with my moment, whereas in another moment I might not have given it a moment's thought. He's been around awhile and if he can dish it out like that, I am assuming he can take it too. I wasn't harsh in any way, just honest about how it hit me.

Thank you all so much for your wonderful and eloquent comments. Sometimes this place makes me break into tears, it's so real and so human. I think I can honestly say that no site anywhere that I have seen has such a aggregate of beautiful souls. It's like we're resident in a resonance that, by contact, amplifies it and it make all of us a better person.

One of my favorite sayings is, "You make me want to be a better person". God willing and god grants me that big farmhouse somewhere and we will have us a time. We cook for each other and play for each other and play with each other and sit by the hearth and run in the meadow with the dogs and other friends from The Devic Realm. Sometimes I can literally see some number of us gathered, finally, together in some heartland and feel the power of our proximity to one another. I see us cooking in the sauna, gathered in a room talking with music playing, sitting at table, eating and laughing. Having that deep humaness where it is exactly right to sit close to each other, place a kiss on a brow or cheek with no connotations except for our cup overflowing.

I don't know how this happened but there is no question God is involved. I've had some rough passage of late and probably God is doing that wine press thing again. I hope I turn out to be a good burgundy. No way I can afford a bottle of that now. It's at a premium but I wouldn't mind being one, aged in the cask and poured into the glass of all the fabulous friendships that these works are heir to.

You make me want to be a better person. I wouldn't be anything without you and whatever good I may be is because of you.

Visible said...

apologies in advance for today's smoking mirrors. At least I hope some of you laugh and maybe get what I am doing. A lot of you got what I was doing with this post here. It surprised me but I shouldn't be surprised, should I?

Visible said...

A new Smoking Mirrors-

Cavorting like Deranged Baboons with a Serious Case of Red Ass.

JerseyCynic said...

Visible... "You're the Top!"

On a daily basis, I often times find myself wondering --what would Les Visible think about this?

You have opened my mind and heart in ways no one else has

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Sport. Holopaths aren't the most loved due to advanced skepticism of Hominid culture. Try to have fun with mostly ignorant know-it-alls. See how that works for yuh...Les and the Chip were co-residents of the Palm Springs for a time in the seventies and eighties. I frequented that hot spring up tramway road in 78. It's HUMAN to want things and Godly to release those desires if it allows others to be tortured. Gnostics struggle with desire more that Igniacs. Here is a possible contribution to discerning eyes and ears; Maleness is about Oneness, Femaleness is of duality and appearance. The feminine works to collective human organization marriage, family , community, society etc. the masculine to mature self realization and Oneness. The female institutes are conformist and oppressive through linguistic control. Man could not be a a slave without the woman and the tongue. We know this. Sociopathy=mind control through external "forces". Psychopathy, the Male alternative is whollistic, indivisibility. What's right and true is what is right and true. Psyche/instinct v. Socio/conditioned response. Who first invented the rape crime in order to sanction rogue malenesses/ One-track thinking has success.

Anonymous said...

Long-Winded.

Visible said...

says the short winded.

Anonymous said...

via Homer..

"The Namaste Way, Mozart's Grave and the Angels of Mercy."

"The Personality of Godhead said: If I especially favor someone, I gradually deprive him of his wealth. The relatives and friends of such a poverty-stricken man then abandon him. In this way, he suffers one distress after another.

For one who takes shelter of Krsna, Krsna takes away everything and that devotee becomes a street beggar. Then, if he doesn't give up Krsna at that time, Krsna proceeds to give him everything."

mike m said...

Clarity, I am not that advanced with computers so when I tried to reach you in that manner I couldn't figure it out.

I dunno, maybe I am just not supposed to go there?

Ray B. said...

Vis: "When I get told things like this, in this fashion, they happen..."

In this light, I thought I'd post an extremely weird happening of this morning. I was meditating/dozing (grin) in the morning hours when I had long-running sequences of being on each of two planets. One was full of incredible technology with some pockets of poverty. The next was advanced, also, but much more a blend with nature and less 'hyper'. I was actually 'there' walking around and interacting with the 'natives' (who were humanoid). The sequences were like daily life, with none of the abrupt 'shifts' seen in dreams. Each was incredibly detailed and expansive, with full sensory involvement. Wow. (In case you were wondering, the above is not a usual experience for me...)

When these finished, I went inside and asked what was going on. Turns out, my 27-level aspect was behind it. Why? "I wanted to see how you would react to these civilizations."

Apparently, the first world had a collective species level of 17, and the second world of 19. (I understand that there are worlds with collective species levels much higher than those.) By comparison, Earth's current collective species (us) level is 10.

To tie in with the first quote, maybe I am being 'tested out' for a life elsewhere?

An interesting bit of woo-woo... (grin)

Best Wishes,
Ray B.

Visible said...

A new Petri Dish-

Lord, Lord, I'm leaving Dumb-Ass City.

WarmZephyr said...

NOBODY BLOWS-CHUNKS OVER THEIR OWN BLOGPOSTS BETTER 'N YOU DO, VIS!

Ha Ha Ha Bleeeghhhhhhhh!

(Probably the reason you're rightfully upset is because you suspect that the world is going to continue to (((HURL))) and we're still here...oh dear... :(

I'm sorry I said, "There's no fixing this rig!...SAYANARA, the other night ~ I had too much wine - though normally, I don't need to state the obvious.

Lordy, I can unfortunately relate to just about everything you state being much too empathetic myself.

(Sigh)Since before your birth, you were marked for target-practice by dark forces and it's never stopped. Look at it as a perverse, cosmic, compliment of sorts...the amount of evil harrassments being commensurate with the amount of or "SPIRIT" you contain. :D

I was stuck in SPAM with Pierre? I'm positively delighted to have been in such rarified air!

Now, isn't there SOMEONE who can set our dear Visible up in a Villa? Don't be shy, we know you're out there eating...breathing...READING...wondering what to do with the couple of cool million burning a hole in your pockets? (pretty pleeeeese?)