Friday, December 03, 2004

Old Crack Whore 100% Natural Tobacco.

Anyone that’s seen a mountain knows that there are a lot of ways to climb one. The easiest way usually has a well worn path or a road by the time you get to it. It is, I would venture, never the most direct route. The most direct route will have the steepest incline and may be prohibitive for all but the few. Other routes might be considered not only very indirect but unpleasant at the same time, depending on the country they pass through. Some have a poor view. The progress of our collective lives, individually seen can be looked at as mountain climbing or, (heh heh) valley dwelling; actually where you will find most people.

Knowing that there are so many ways to approach the same thing, it is always surprising how many people argue to the contrary. Look how obvious it is. Look at how it applies in so many other areas, yet people will still insist there is only one way. Laws get made about the ways people can and cannot take. They may not be going with you, might not notice you are gone, but they will damn well stop you from going if they can.

Yesterday I was on about ‘image making’; applied use of the imagination. I know most people are concerned about money. Money though is not all that hard to get with a combination of imagination and energy. I never discount faith when approaching anything but I suspect you know that you have to have faith. Competition for success is more difficult on the common road. A leather-worker will find plenty other leather workers there. The same applies to musicians and writers, real estate brokers and lawyers.

Inventiveness is always a new path up the same mountain. It isn’t always an improvement but it is different and sometimes just that is enough. Visualize EBay and consider a product called “Old Crack Whore Natural Tobacco.” You get yourself an artist to do a sort of R. Crumb/Fritz the Cat label, something very cartoon like and high color. Picture a very amusing graphic of a sprawled whore with a pipe and a pimp hold a coat hanger standing nearby. It’s a derelict urban scene. Gripping, eh? If you’ve got investment capital you cut a deal with American Spirit for some of their tobacco and use it. You don’t have to grow your own. If you’re short on capital you make the “Old Crack Whore” tobacco pouch. See what I mean? Use your imagination and operate within your limitations as you expand your horizons through progressive successes.

I designed a Brooke Shield’s back-flap smoke-sucker ashtray. Brooke Shield’s like bilious Larry Hagman are virulent anti-smokers. My Brooke Shield’s ashtray has her lying on her stomach with her curvaceous ass in the air. You open her blue jean butt flap and a little fan engine inside swallows the smoke between her buttocks. You could do Hagman as well for alternative sexual interests. You are only limited by your imagination. There are a number of people in Hong Kong who will knock any of these off for you for pennies apiece and next stop EBay, with whatever advertising force you can afford to bring to bear or generate using, that’s right, your imagination.

It’s pure coincidence that both of these ideas deal with smoking. You could have rolls of toilet paper imprinted with the face of Bush, Madonna, Donald Trump, Karl Rove; just pick your favorite celebrity and call the product, “I Wipe My Ass with So and So.” Okay, I’m being scatological but this is all by way of example. Novelty sells. How about sacrilegious? Design and market motorized Tibetan prayer wheels. I’m not sure that is even sacrilegious. But I could surely come up with something. And you can too. I can think of dozens of tasteless items that people would flock to buy. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Most people have no taste. Take a look around and tell me I’m wrong. The more tasteless and useless the product the better it will sell. Is it wrong to do this? Why?

I’m giving you ideas. Certainly you can come up with some of your own. To be unique is a big plus. It’s possible to have these things made and shipped without you ever even touching them. You would be surprised how easy it is to do this and provide jobs too; in the U.S. or just working from several sources close to your markets; Europe, Asia, etc.

Okay, you’ve gotten rich and you’ve bought a few things and gotten laid upscale. The majority are going to be content to wallow there. It can take many a lifetime to want a more refined and less complicated life. But let’s say you’re spiritually inclined. If you are it is impossible to be satisfied with anything here. Oh, you can enjoy your food and the various vanishing and perishable amenities; I certainly do. But you want more. The good news here is that all that stuff is free. What I mean is, you don’t need money for it. You do need to do inertia reversal but you have to do that to get out of bed. Really, the hardest thing about spiritual progress is the pull of old entertainments and gaining the capacity to enjoy discipline and embrace change. Had you the capacity to truly embrace change you will have defeated Death; really defeated death. Death’s only job is to assist in this embrace. If you’re already doing it, Death has plenty of business everywhere else. Death is everybody’s best friend but they don’t know it. Death gets few invitations to dinner parties. Truth has a similar empty calendar. Strange huh? These twin pillars of immortality are always getting the heave ho; not that you can keep them out. Not hardly.

The idea is to succeed at all the little things like financial independence, equilibrium and appetite control. Once you do you are in the home stretch. And yes, they are little things. They just take application and overcoming fear. Fear and the lack of capacity to change are two of your biggest enemies. Appetite wouldn’t be any kind of nemesis if it weren’t for fear pushing it for its distractive benefits.

I often get criticism from people who argue that I haven’t really succeeded at anything. They’ve got one potato and they are criticizing me for having twenty potatoes instead of a thousand potatoes. Everything is relative. If you could really see into the lives of most of the people who are called successful you would see someone surrounded by a cloud of mosquitoes and buzzing flies. You would see someone who can’t sleep for fear they are losing ground. You would see someone behind high walls and security systems protecting things they don’t love or need from people who think they want them. You would see people in agony, crucified on the cross of matter in a world of smoke. Where’s the back-flap sucker for that?

I know about a liquid that pours and penetrates and drenches. The experience is like to continuous coitus. It frees and energizes. It simonizes with a protective coat of infinite rainbow variants courtesy of Jacob’s tailor. It shimmers with endless possibilities. You can get a taste when you find the pump and you can pump to your hearts content. You can pump and pump till it overflows every border. It speaks every language and halo’s every demon of the mind. It transforms and changes everything into itself. It lives in a unity of being to which nothing is foreign or confusing. You never run out. It is a virtual sun that warms and heals everything within reach. What could be better than that?



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The3rdElf
The 3rd Elf