Thursday, January 27, 2005

A Strange Travelogue, Part One.

This will be, due to space considerations, about conditions and results in a general way; more about giving an example rather than a gratuitous chronologue of events.

I lived in Kyoto Japan for my first five years of life and the Orient has been a major factor in my development throughout life. I remember at around the age of two or three that I was laying in my bed one afternoon; no doubt it was nap time and I came awake to a droning chant. My eyes eventually focused on the beams that supported the ceiling. I saw the small figures of monks in robes. There were a dozen or two dozen, I don’t remember exactly; two lines of them facing each other across the beams and they were chanting and looking down at me. I had no idea of what I was seeing but it was a powerful event that I have always remembered but never attached any importance to since I still don’t know what it means. Other things happened as well but they don’t come to memory except as vague images. There were two Japanese maids that took care of me during that period and sometimes they would take me with them when they shopped. I remember a very old Japanese man whom they would bring me to and he spoke to me but I can’t recall about what.

My fathers brutality surfaced in my mind during that time; the stern sound of his voice and the early beatings. I remember being willful even then, despite the punishments. I remember thinking he won’t win.

Then I was at Georgia Military Academy for several years. My father was an instructor there. I was a very good student and consistently got A’s but I was picked on by other students and humiliated in front of them by my father in a consistent fashion. I did not understand any of this. I did not fit in or know how to adapt and that never changed. I began to wet the bed and of course I was brutally punished for this but that didn’t help any. I began to have terrifying dreams of werewolves and vampires. I could hear things howling in the night outside the house and on the farm. I had friendships with spiders and would let them crawl on me. I talked to them. Something happened that I don’t remember and I was terribly frightened of them afterwards. That’s over now. I used to have conversations with people I couldn’t see all the time. I used to hang out with an old black man called Rainey. I was always aware of Nature as a living thing. Rats scared me.

We went to France and lived in Paris and that was wonderful except for the continued punishment from my father. I had less trouble with other kids for awhile but I was still picked on. Sometimes kids would sit on my chest and slap me around for long periods of time. Other times I would lose my temper and waste them, so that I was an unpredictable element. I used to run around the streets of Paris and went to the Louvre often and the various churches. Books became a major interest and I read constantly when I wasn’t exploring in the woods or the sewers or wherever.

I remember at around 11 years old I was sitting in class one day and an overwhelming Love swept through me. The classroom was filled with light and I felt completely transformed. I cannot give words to this. Everyone I looked at I could see light in their skin and a vibrating energy that surrounded them.

I went to Ft. Niagara, New York. Sports, principally baseball, became my whole focus; of course books were a mainstay, even as they are today. I still got picked on, until I lost my temper and then I always won. It was at this point that I took the Iowa State tests and scored in the 95% to 99% percentile in all subjects. The teachers called a meeting with my family because of the disparity between my scores and my grades. Well, my home life was a nightmare so go figure. Around this time I started to develop crippling pains in my stomach. The doctors could not find a problem. I got a lot of painful tests. Finally they found an adult ulcer. This was unheard of and probably what took them so long. I went into the hospital and the doctors told my father I had to have a special diet thereafter. My father said I was in collusion with the doctors and my mother and that there was nothing wrong with me. On the night of my return my mother made me hotdogs and something bland. My father kept going on and on about me being a special privileged character. The rest of the family was having chili. Finally I said, “Mommy, can I have some chili?” The predicted results followed.

My father would read about things that happened in the papers and sometimes punish me for them because he was sure I had done them. I should say something about the nature of the beatings. They might involve fists, pieces of wood, extension cords and on one occasion sections of a rose bush with the thorns on. One time it was the back of a shovel. The ulcer finally went away but plagued me intermittently until I left home. Sometimes I would climb under my bed and tear my arms bloody with my nails.

I wanted to be a baseball player or an archaeologist. I was fascinated with Richard Halliburton and Harry Schliemann (sp?) He discovered Troy. I started reading the classic writers. I read some or all of most of them. This was my escape. Aldous Huxley really helped. He was the first person I thought had left footprints for me.

I moved to Ft. Ritchie at Cascade Maryland, near Camp David and Blue Ridge Summit PA. I got very good at baseball. I was a pitcher and used to strike out about 2 batters an inning and I could hit. This got me some relief from the bullying. The brutality continued with my father. I was getting on the 16 now and resentment was getting strong. I didn’t go through puberty until about this time and never had any pubic hair until I left the Air Force at 17. This was not conducive to taking public showers; after sporting events. I got good at hiding.

Some soldiers got me drunk and a whole new world emerged. A couple of alcohol fueled rampages got me into trouble with the law and my father was forced to put me into the military the week after I turned 17. I couldn’t do anything right there. I still wasn’t more than 12 years old in many ways. I was sent for mental tests and the doctors said I was a chronic schizophrenic. I was discharged but managed to fight it all the way to a PEB Board of full Colonels. They actually flew me from Chanute IL. to Andrews Air Force Base for this, thus ensuing at least that I got some part of the GI Bill. I had just finished the 10th grade when I went in. I was still 17 when I came out. I rode down to Oklahoma with a ner do well who got a bad conduct discharge. His family didn’t want me. I didn’t know what to do. I knew I was crazy so I signed myself into the Oklahoma Mental Institution in Norman. This is where I first had sex with a girl on the grounds. Six months later I got out and I hitchhiked with some guy to Washington D.C. because I heard there were 8 girls for every one man. While in the institution I was reading a psychology journal about this Timothy Leary and his experiments with LSD. I felt this incredible draw to what he was saying and thought how I would like to try this.

I got to D.C. and worked in Gospel Missions for awhile, working with the refuse of humanity. I’d forgotten about Leary and was just trying to get a life. I got a job at The Library of Congress in The Division for the Blind. I started reading Freud and Nietzsche; I thought maybe I could solve my problem. I gravitated toward DuPont Circle and the beatnik culture. I began writing poetry in earnest, though I had always done this (I’m leaving many things out but this skeleton is just about setting the stage for a point. ‘The’ point I intend to make.) and began to read my work at a coffee house called The Crow’s Toe and then later The Lute and the Lyre. It was run by a black man named Teddy Portochinko. Mostly blacks came there and it was an incredible scene. A whole lot of things happened which led to my meeting some early hippies and taking some Sandoz acid in the liquid vials. The whole world changed. I instantly knew I wasn’t crazy. It was the world that was crazy and I wasn’t schizoid, I just had wider margins. It would take a book to reveal what all I went through during this initial period. Large areas of knowledge and information opened up inside of me. Who knows where it came from? Very rapidly I became some sort of font or teacher and people would gather round me in the park. Quite a few of them were young women and so then there were the guys who came around me to pick them up. I remember shaking my head and thinking that they were missing the point. However, on one level they certainly weren’t. I had a girlfriend, one or two, but I was caught up in the things I was learning and didn’t really avail myself of all the free sex.

I met John Hall who later went on to found the group Orleans. John Reed was a dark man who would come around when I spoke. He figures into what happened. Hall and I were inseparable. Due to my visibility there the police took an interest in me. This was intensified due to my ability to spot them and my stupidity in pointing them out. I was a reckless boy. I ran afoul of Scientology. Scientology went to the cops and told them I was dealing drugs, not true. The police arranged a sting through John Reed whom they had already compromised and he sent up a ride across the river to Virginia to get some pot. John Hall was with us. There were two cars. Undercover officers came along and kept trying to get me to handle the money. I refused. But when we got out of the car Reed went running into the building and I was left standing when one of the cops extended some money through the window and said, “Here, get us another ounce.” I said I’d give the money to John. Well, you can imagine how that worked. Nothing happened then.

John Hall and I went to Greenwich Village. A warrant was out on me. When we got back to D.C. we were staying at John’s parent’s house in Maryland. His father was an executive with Westinghouse. They were very well off. They were very uptight about my influence on their son. They even paid for a private investigator to research my test results from the mental institution to prove I was not a genius as was being bandied about. They waved the scores in my face; only in the low 130’s, so there. Heh... Heh... John, under pressure, let them know the police were after me. So his parents arranged for me to be arrested at their house and he went along with it. John probably still doesn’t know that I know this, I never told him. So a huge dramatic scene took place with a bullhorn, spotlights and drawn guns. You would have thought I was Dillinger. This was due, I think, to Scientology painting me as a Rasputin sort of a figure and what the police had observed about my behavior. Away I went into the system for a bit.

I’ll pick this up again tomorrow. I apologize for many things I have had to and will have to leave out. Brevity requires it and, I have to reiterate, this is about a point to be made, not about my amusing and oft tragic journey to where I sit writing this. Everything I do mention here later comes up elsewhere or relates to my point. I’ll use flashbacks as I go because there are things I left out that are more relevant seen in hindsight.

Please be patient with me on this, it may run to three posts or more before I can do the intended post; the summing up. I realize things that I am going to say, some of them are going to be fantastic- they're all true. In nearly every case there are cooroborating witnesses easily reached. Whether they want to grant the time for extensive detail is up to them; should such requests be made. And for every event I give there will be a hundred left out. Some of it will give fuel to my critics but I'm not concerned with that. They've go their job to do just like me.

I may err sometimes in being comprehensive and this won't have the impact of a thoughtfully composed itinerary, that's for another time, if ever.


Anonymous said...

We all owe you a debt of gratitude for doing this, all of it. And it is truly an honor to learn more about this person who floods our world with such profound truth on an almost daily basis. You still are a teacher and this is your park.


Anonymous said...

Dear Friend of the Spirit;

As a reminder, never forget that the travails of this life represent the offerings of the Masters to this life at hand, that which you have. You have been honored with the difficulties in this life, that you might soar one day in the vast spheres above those
who simply trudge daily around in the valley of death.

Take heed and feel honored that each pain is the branding of the LIFE FORCE OF THE SPIRIT within your spirit...that you might overcome far more quickly, what it takes so many, many,many lifetimes for others to overcome, and for some, not even then can they overcome. Those, ultimately, will be destined into the lake of everlasting fire, to be purified for the next manvantaric epoch.

As always, I read the guiding hand of the Masters in that which you write. They bring others into your aura, so that Their Causal Body influences us through you. Always, there is an instrument willing to bend for the will of the Masters. The instrument brings the message down to the level of those who can only hear your voice. I am inspired by you.. for all those who travel the Path of the Chela, must take up the cross, accept the crown of thorns, bear the brunt of the flogging in the Temple, and carry the marks of the the stigmata in their follow in HIS footsteps.

Shalom and Peace.
Master and Chela by Kuthumi Lal Singh, Bridge to Freedom, Inc., Kings Park, New York, 1950s, dictated to Geraldine Innocente

The chapters of this work are: A. The Emotional Body, B. Assistance of a Master, C. Human Judgment, D. The Law of Balance, E. Individual Consciousness, F. Flames, G. Helping the Plan of the Master, H. Forcefields, I. Angels, J. Changing Life's Limitations, K. Entering the Great Silence, L. Efficient Study, M. Pictures & Statues of Masters, N. Group Activity, O. Developing the Powers Within, P. Gaining the Master's Momentum, Q. Our Quest (Introduction) is by El Morya, R. Desire of Material Posessions, S. The Amount of Service Required, T. Expanding the Light of the World, U. Inner Promptings, V. The Sacred Fire, W. Use of the Sacred Fire, X. The Casual Body, Y. Thy Kingdom Come. Chapter Z is by Lord Maitreya, Kuthumi's Master: Consecrate Yourself to Service.

Introduction by El Morya (this is chapter Q: Our Quest)

The standard set for the chela who is going to serve the masses in Our name is high! An individual who is teaching a horse to jump causes the animal to hurdle rail after rail & the horse is taught to combine muscle, sinew, nerve & intelligence until he can vault over higher & higher obstacles. In your own training for mastery as you increase in your capacity to jump over low hurdles We give you new strength & counsel to increase your spiritual knowledge & capability to serve & surmount the higher hurdles upon life's path.

Our instruction & corrections are provided not to depress & fill you with self-depreciation but rather to give to you the realization that you have mastered the hurdle laid down for you previously & have jumped over it with ease. The master then feels that it is time to place a higher rail for you to clear so that in the final steeplechase you may surmount the highest obstruction with dignity, poise & efficacy & be of credit to those of Us who have loved you well enough to take the responsibility for your training & development.

Do you know how much love it takes to spur a lifestream on? Some of you who have worked with the public thru the years have some concept of the energies required to sustain the interest, enthusiasm & service of many individuals. Many of you know what tenacity of spirit & faith of consciousness is required to stand for weeks, months & years pouring forth your life-breath into the souls of men & women, spurring them on despite the restrictions of your own karma & theirs as well, holding & sustain them on the spiritual path.

This is Our service from the ascended masters' octave. It is your service in your group endeavors & it is likewise the service which is expected from every student in relation to his fellowman. Easier far would it be to turn one's back upon mankind's distress & enjoy a personal nirvana! Easier far would it be to fold one's cloak about one & gaze in imagination at the snowcapped peaks of Himalayan Mountains than to work in the valley where disease, distress & death stalk the human race & where mankind mills about seeking a way back Home! You, beloved ones, are among the few lifestream scattered across the face of the Earth whom mankind will one day bless. Despite your own personal depletions you have been firm in inspiring spiritual application for the many, often hiding your own limitations behind a front of bravery so as not to scandalize the doubtful consciousness of those not yet grounded in understanding of the law. When these brave lifestreams flag in their enthusiasm they always have My enthusiasm & all the power & all the mastery that is Mine to help them!

(How prophetic of Master Morya El, for indeed Geraldine Innocente did flag seriously in her effort to take the dictation of chapter Q from Kuthumi--this chapter entitled "The Second Death" was entirely bogus & not from Kuthumi in actuality but was from a psychic imposter; it is herein replaced by Morya's Introduction which chapter now is renamed "Q. Our Quest"; Victory to Maitreya & Mother! -online publisher, R.P.)
A. The Emotional Body

Beloved Master, how can I individually contribute to the light of the world?

Blessed disciple! Our Lord Sanat Kumara has said that light is primarily released thru the feeling world. The cultivation of those qualities of feeling which are like unto the nature of God Himself-- peace, purity, harmony, balance, love, tolerance, kindness, compassion, mercy & understanding--makes your feeling world emit light. The endeavor to transfer & convey your feelings of hope, faith, confidence & loyal to God into the consciousness & feelings of all you contact makes you thus not only a light shining in the darkness but also a light conductor igniting the souls of men to like endeavor.

Beloved Master, how can one control the feelings which rise unbidden from the undisciplined soul & rush forth to add to the shadows of this earthplane?

Blessed disciple! There is but One Power by which you can accomplish anything. That is the power of God that flows thru your own individualized Presence & gives life to your feeling world. When you return the authority for the qualification of that life to your Presence & refuse to allow your feeling world the license to which it is accustomed in the seizing & misqualifying of pure God-life, then that beautiful Presence controls for you & thru you your emotions.

Beloved Master! I feel that the emotional body is an enemy to spiritual progress. Like St. Augustine I am torn between what I know is right & what I constantly do in the generation of discord which is wrong. "The good I would I do not, & that which I would not that I do."

Blessed disciple! This is not a correct attitude. It creates a rebellion in your feeling world. Your emotional body was created by God for a definite purpose. The emotional body was designed to emulate the feelings of God & to expand the qualities of the God-nature in whatever sphere the individual consciousness is functioning. The mental body was designed to create form, the feeling body to nourish that form with qualified life. It is primarily a gift of the Holy Spirit & when one sins in feeling he commits the sin against the Holy Ghost which the orthodox world has described as unforgiveable.

Beloved Master! Is there then such a thing as an unforgiveable sin of thought, feeling or action?

Blessed disciple! No, because only perfection is eternal. Every mistake no matter how great is transitory & passing. The very law of compassion & mercy which is the gift of the Seventh Ray is the manifest proof that all sins, mistakes & errors can & will be wiped out when the individual chooses to apply for the way & means to do so. (St. Germain in Pearls of Wisdom, Oct 3, 1965 stated: "Separation from God is the original sin or sin against the Holy Spirit," unforgiveable in the sense that there is no replacement for union.)

The sins of the feeling nature however are the most difficult to overcome because the emotional body of mankind has ruled the mind & senses for many centuries. The emotional body is also the recipient of over 80% of the energies of the lifestream released thru the silver cord into the use & control of the outer consciousness. It is therefore the most powerful of the instruments thru which the soul seeks expression & ultimate mastery over energy, substance & vibration. It is a better friend & servant than adversary.

O beloved Master! How then may I make my emotional body my friend & servant?

Blessed disciple, by understanding that all your bodies, mental, emotional, physical & etheric, are the servants of the Holy Presence which made you & which gives to you life, intelligence & being. Return then the authority for the use of those bodies to that Presence & check your thoughts, feelings & actions daily with what your conscience & heart tell you would be the thoughts, feeling & actions of your own Christ. Gradually they will be trained in serving Him.
B. Assistance of a Master

Beloved Master, in my association with the ascended masters how may I avoid breaking the first commandment?

Beloved chela, walking on the spiritual path requires the utmost discrimination & balance. The development of this balance is the duty & responsibility of each chela. Every true master will turn the consciousness of the chela back toward the God that made them both. When an individual, visible or invisible, tends to encourage the student to lean upon a consciousness outside of himself, beware!

Beloved Master, when the curtain has been drawn aside & we are privileged to know a little something of the perfection & beauty of the ascended masters it is difficult for us not to worship that expression!

Beloved chela, even the Master Jesus was required to admonish his followers from time to time in the words "Call not me good" & in the further reminder "It is not I, it is the Father within that doeth the works." It is right & proper to love, reverence & have faith in one's teacher. It is the proper balance for the instruction & blessings received. The master however must be looked upon as a pattern which the student must duplicate, not admire.

Beloved Master, as You have become that which we desire to be it is our desire to do that which You would have us do, be what You would have us become, imitate You in all our ways.

Beloved chela, the ascended master has become one with the will of God. He therefore will never desire for you anything but that which your own Holy Christ Self desires to manifest thru you. The advantage of the counsel & instruction of the ascended master is your protection & guidance during the time when you may not yet be able to discern from within yourself just exactly what the Christ Self may desire to do thru you.

There are two roads open before the chela. He may prefer to rely only upon that contact which he can develop from entering the silence & communing there with his indwelling Christ, relying upon his intuition & capacity to discern between the Voice of the silence & the voice of his many selves, or he may accept the assistance of the ascended master who has already fully access to the Christ mind. This master may suggest a course of action which will be beneficial to the spiritual development of the chela. A real master will never order nor compel thru superstition or fear a course of action which a chela should follow. All cooperation with The Great White Brotherhood is voluntary & proceeds from a desire upon the part of the chela to know how to proceed up the mount of attainment more quickly.

The students on the path may be divided generally into two groups--those who accept the assistance & superior wisdom of guides who have gone the way before & who by such acceptance strike straight up the mountain, & those who prefer to set their own pqace & proceed around the moutain without the assistance of such volunteers from Above. Either course is safe, either is sure, but the bold who grasp the hands of the master find attainment more quickly although the arduous climb may sometimes tell on their spirits before they stand on the summit.

Master and Chela:

Anonymous said...

That you DB>>>>???

Are you getting the IM Messages??


Anonymous said...

I don't know where you're going with this but I'm enjoying it immensely. I am especially looking forward to the point you plan on making. I suspect this won't be a feature in most peoples minds until it's suddenly there. By now I have some idea of what to expect from you and this time I know it's going to be exceptionally impactful.

z a

Anonymous said...

I'd feel bad about the things you have said so far but I read about the happy ending every day. I'm looking forward to more of this. I love what you do.


Anonymous said...

Great start. As you say, sketchy and unfleshed, but engrossing no the less. If it keeps on as it does and I suspect it does it would make a dynamite read in long form.




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